Divorce Mediation Center of Fairfield County, LLC

10/23/2026

The Space Between: Legal, Emotional & Financial Readiness for Divorce

What an engaging and thoughtful discussion today with mental health professionals, alongside my amazing colleagues, Jennifer Ch*****ne and Hollis Hardiman, who continually make my work interesting, challenging, collaborative, and, dare I say, fun!

Our conversation focused on the critical space between contemplating divorce and being truly prepared to navigate it.
Divorce is not simply a legal event or a financial transaction. It is an emotional transition, often unfolding amid grief, fear, uncertainty, and profound changes in identity and family structure.

We explored the intersection of emotional, financial, and legal readiness and why all three matter when helping individuals make informed, thoughtful decisions about their futures.

One of our central themes was the difference between reacting from a place of crisis and responding from a place of clarity. Emotional flooding, unresolved conflict, fear, and the patterns established during a marriage can interfere with the ability to communicate, negotiate, and make sound decisions.
Readiness doesn’t mean being free of difficult emotions. It means developing the capacity to recognize and regulate those emotions so they don’t drive decisions with lasting consequences.

We also explored the importance of helping individuals understand their divorce process options and thoughtfully assemble a team of professionals who can provide the legal, financial, and emotional support they need throughout the process.

One of the central takeaways was that divorce readiness doesn’t happen in isolation. It requires recognizing what support each individual needs, both inside and outside the negotiation room, and bringing together the right professionals and resources to help them navigate difficult conversations, make informed decisions, and move forward with greater clarity and confidence.

Thank you to everyone who joined us and contributed to such a rich and engaging conversation!

NonAdversarialDivorce

10/14/2026

Your marriage has a history. Your divorce is an opportunity to write a different chapter.

During consultations, I often hear couples say they believe mediation will work for them because nothing terrible happened. No infidelity, no betrayal, no dramatic ending. They simply grew apart.

But mediation isn’t reserved for couples whose marriages ended peacefully.

Even when there has been betrayal, anger, disappointment, or broken trust, it’s possible to choose a different approach to divorce.

That choice often requires emotional work. It means acknowledging the hurt without allowing it to drive every decision. It means recognizing that accountability and revenge are not the same thing.

It doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior, abandoning boundaries, or accepting unfairness.

And when children are involved, it means remembering that they learn not only from how we love one another, but also from how we treat one another when relationships end.

Character is often revealed in our most difficult moments.

You don’t have to agree about the past to make thoughtful decisions about the future.

Your marriage has a history. But you have a choice about how the next chapter begins.

10/04/2026

Divorce doesn’t have to be a battle.

After more than 30 years practicing family law, one thing I know for certain is that how you divorce matters.

It matters to your children.
It matters to your finances.
It matters to your ability to sit together at graduations, weddings, birthdays and all the moments that come long after the divorce is over.

Mediation and collaborative divorce aren’t about pretending there isn’t conflict. There often is.

They’re about choosing a process designed to help you work through that conflict without turning your family into opposing sides.

Sometimes that means sitting together with a mediator. Sometimes it means building a collaborative team around a family that needs more support.

The goal isn’t a “perfect” divorce.

It’s to get to the other side with an agreement that works, with as little unnecessary damage as possible.

You can end a marriage without destroying a family.

FamilyLaw DivorceWithDignity Coparenting DivorceSupport ConnecticutMediator

09/21/2026

I am thrilled to share that our article, “The Evolving Team: Vulnerability and Trust in the Collaborative Divorce Process — A Roadmap for Professionals,” has been published in Family Court Review, the journal of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC), published by Wiley.

This article was truly a labor of love. Wendy Habelow, Ph.D., Lili A. Vasileff, CFP®, MAFF, CDFA®, and I spent countless hours writing, revising, questioning, and challenging one another as we explored something we all care deeply about: what makes an interdisciplinary collaborative team truly work.

We explore the role of vulnerability and trust within the professional team, what can happen when professionals from different disciplines bring different perspectives to the table, and how the strength of those professional relationships can ultimately shape the experience of the families we serve.

There was so much thought, conversation, and work behind this article, which makes seeing it published especially meaningful. I am incredibly grateful to Wendy and Lili for the depth, experience, and perspective they brought to this work, and so proud of what we created together.

Our article appears in the Family Court Review special issue, “Family Justice Across Borders: Culture, Courts, and Conflict Resolution.”

Ferrante, R., Habelow, W., & Vasileff, L. A. (2026). “The Evolving Team: Vulnerability and Trust in the Collaborative Divorce Process — A Roadmap for Professionals.” Family Court Review. Wiley. DOI: 10.1111/fcre.70102

Link to the published article in my bio.

09/18/2026

Last night was a special evening for the The Connecticut Council for Non-Adversarial Divorce a chance to celebrate where we have been, recognize those who helped build this organization, and look ahead to where we are going.

We were honored to recognize Eva DeFranco with the Howard Krieger Beacon Lifetime Achievement Award for her extraordinary contributions to CCND and to the growth of mediation and Collaborative Divorce in Connecticut. Eva has helped shape this organization from its earliest years, and her commitment to education, mentorship, and non-adversarial practice has influenced generations of professionals.

We were also incredibly fortunate to be joined by Judges Holly Abery-Wetstone, Steven Dembo, and Leo Diana for a candid and engaging conversation about the family court system and the important role non-adversarial professionals can play within it.

But what stayed with me most from the evening was the sense of what comes next.

CCND began with a belief that there had to be a better way for families to move through divorce. Today, we are an interdisciplinary community of legal, mental health, and financial professionals committed to changing the way people divorce or separate, reducing conflict, improving the lives of families, and helping people make informed decisions about how they want to move forward.

There is so much more work to do: educating the public about their options, training the next generation of professionals, strengthening mediation and Collaborative Divorce, expanding access to non-adversarial processes, and continuing our conversations with the courts and with one another.

The future of divorce does not have to look like its past.

I’m incredibly proud to serve as President of CCND and excited about where we are headed as we continue to grow, evolve, and find new ways to change the way people divorce and better serve families throughout Connecticut.

Connecticut

09/12/2026

Different opinions are not a sign that mediation isn’t working.

In fact, they’re often where the real work begins.

Two people can have very different views about parenting, finances, the family home, support—or simply what feels fair. Mediation doesn’t require either person to abandon their perspective or convince the other that they’re right.

It creates a structured space to understand what matters to each person, identify the issues that actually need to be resolved, and explore possibilities that may not have been obvious at the outset.

You don’t need the same perspective to find a better way forward.

09/11/2026

09/11/2026

“I just want this over.”

There is real value in being done. Divorce takes time, money and emotional energy. Peace has value. Finality has value.

But there is a difference between making a thoughtful decision to be done and agreeing simply because you are exhausted.

Sometimes the right next step is not another concession. It may be a pause, a conversation with review counsel, or simply enough time to know that the decision you are making is one you will still feel comfortable with after the exhaustion has passed.

The goal isn’t to fight for more. It’s to be sure you’re truly ready to say, “I’m done.”

09/10/2026

“I just want this over.”

There can be real value in being done.

Divorce takes time, money and emotional energy. At some point, continuing to negotiate over every last issue may cost more than compromise. Peace has value. Finality has value. Moving forward has value.

But there is a difference between making a thoughtful decision to be done and agreeing simply because you are exhausted.

A mediator may hear that exhaustion before the person saying it fully recognizes it. That may be the time to slow things down, take a break, encourage independent review counsel, or simply step back and look at the bigger picture.

And good review counsel should recognize it too.

The role of review counsel isn’t necessarily to find more things to fight about. Sometimes it is exactly the opposite: to help someone understand the agreement, put the remaining issues in perspective, and decide whether continuing to negotiate is really worth it.

But review counsel can also help someone recognize when exhaustion—not thoughtful compromise—is driving the decision.

Sometimes the right advice is: this is a reasonable resolution. Take it and move forward.

Sometimes it’s: don’t make a decision today. Take a break. You have lived with this uncertainty for months; you don’t have to resolve it in the next hour.

There is value in being done.

There is also value in being able to look back six months or six years later and know that you didn’t make an important decision simply because you couldn’t tolerate one more conversation.

The goal isn’t to fight for more.

It’s to be sure you’re truly ready to say, “I’m done.”

06/12/2026

A day of connection, collaboration, and planning for the future. 💙

The CCND (CT Council for NonAdversarial Divorce) Board gathered at the Yale Peabody Museum to reflect on how far we’ve come and to explore new ways to strengthen mediation and collaborative divorce in Connecticut.

Grateful for this thoughtful, dedicated group and excited for the year ahead!