09/04/2026
This is not love, friend. If you're asking yourself hard questions and don't know where to begin, give us a call. We can be reached at 217-497-1009, Tuesday through Friday, from 11:30 to 4:30.
You are worth so much more.
The abuser says something cruel about someone you love. A fire rises in your chest and you defend them. He smirks. Suddenly, you’re the problem.
It’s called baiting—a trap designed to provoke a reaction he can use against you. Now he’s the victim, and you’re the abusive one.
He may never raise his voice. You rarely see it coming. But your reaction becomes his justification to punish you. Maybe physically. Maybe by withholding something important to you while explaining how deeply you hurt him.
He twists your words, berates you, rewrites what happened. You defend yourself, feeling as though you’re fighting for your life.
You may leave wondering if you’re abusive too. Maybe you think you simply had another terrible fight.
But this wasn’t a fight.
Abusers create situations you cannot win. They set the trap, provoke the reaction, then use your reaction as evidence against you.