05/24/2024
We often have the task of explaining to parents that their son or daughter has an addiction to pain killers and he**in. Have had the discussion more time than I can count and it is often with parents who have done pretty much everything right. Provided a great home, awesome privileges and gifts including expensive cars and designer handbags….the whole dream package of the middle class American family. Except….their son or daughter gets arrested with 6 bags of he**in and a kit for injecting the drug.
The message is if you are a parent you need to make sure that you’re watching everything with a clear view that yes even your child may become one of the 50% of adolescents who use drugs.
You need to look for these sometimes subtle and often inconclusive signs:
-Emotional instability, extreme moodiness;
-Loss of interest in once-favored activities;
-Irritability, anger, aggression;
-Difficulty staying focused, causing problems in school;
Secretive behavior, territorial, hiding in their room;
Stealing, unexplained need for money;
Sleeping more than usual, staying in bed all day;
Avoiding eye contact, withdrawing into their shell;
Replacing longtime friends with a new friend group.
Now please understand that many of these signs or changes can be perfectly normal so don’t over react, instead be more observant and investigate things.
Your child deserves privacy and a degree of autonomy but we should not elevate privacy and personal autonomy above safety. Tbe cell phone must be regularly monitored, the room should be carefully looked through and your child should be carefully looked at for signs of drug or alcohol use. A sure fire way to a problem is to assume that everything is ok and that you can trust your child not to experiment.
If you find any drugs or paraphernalia it is NEVER the friends. The old I was holding it for Amber or Greg is and has always been a lie.
If you learn that your kid has a problem you need to seek the help of a professional drug therapist and stop your own enabling conduct. Don’t provide a lot of cash (a movie night doesn’t cost $300) try taking privileges away until counseling is started, limit cell phone access and monitor it daily, try to rebuild a relationship with your child using accountability as the cornerstone. Take nothing on faith, require results and only reward solid results. I often advise kids to get into an NA meeting and to use their recovery to exercise in order to help the body heal.
Be a strong parent and understand that you’re not hurting Little Ricky by taking the G Wagon away.
