10/09/2026
“My loved ones will just know what I would have wanted with my remains.”
It is one of the most common things I hear, and it comes from a good place. But, that does not mean what you would have wanted will happen. And in the days right after a loss, when everyone is grieving and decisions cannot wait, that gap becomes painfully clear.
Who will handle various decisions upon your passing in regard to your remains? Where would you want your final resting place? Do you want burial or cremation? Do you want to donate your remains? Do you know where you have the legal right to be buried or etc.? Are there any concerns or wishes you have regarding a service, or whether there is one at all. Do you have any pre-paid arrangements in place? Who should be told, and what should be said. These are decisions someone will make within days of your passing, often while barely holding it together.
When wishes regarding your remains are not properly planned for, loved ones can end up disagreeing. Maybe not because anyone is being difficult, but because each person is certain they know what you would have wanted, and grief can make those convictions run deep. I have seen those disagreements leave marks that last for years.
New York allows you to formally appoint someone to carry out your wishes regarding your remains, and to put those wishes in writing. It is one document (in an overall estate plan) that removes an enormous burden.
Making these decisions in advance is not something you do for yourself. It is a final act of care for the people who will be sitting in that room without you.
www.RuthPGeorgeLaw.com
