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The Law Firm of Erin N Birt, PC DuPage Divorce Lawyer For Parents Who Want To Stay Out Of Court

Your marriage may be ending, but your parenting partnership isn’t.I’m pleased to share my guest article for TalkingParen...
10/08/2026

Your marriage may be ending, but your parenting partnership isn’t.

I’m pleased to share my guest article for TalkingParents, “How Collaborative Divorce Creates Better Co-Parenting Habits.”

One of the things I’ve learned through my work with divorcing families is that how parents resolve disagreements during divorce can influence how they communicate and make decisions long after the legal process ends.

Collaborative Divorce isn’t about avoiding difficult conversations. It’s about creating a structured way to work through them while developing communication and problem-solving skills that can continue into the co-parenting relationship.

Thank you to for inviting me to contribute to your Parenting Resources!

📖 Read the article here:
https://talkingparents.com/blog/collaborative-divorce

One year into a co-parenting arrangement, the families who are doing well tend to share certain characteristics. The par...
10/08/2026

One year into a co-parenting arrangement, the families who are doing well tend to share certain characteristics. The parenting schedule has become routine enough that children move between homes without anxiety. Both parents have found a communication rhythm that is clear, consistent, and focused on the children. And both households have developed their own traditions and routines that give children a sense of belonging in each home.

None of that tends to happen automatically. It is built deliberately, through consistent choices made over many ordinary days, often when it would have been easier to choose differently.

If you are approaching the one year mark in your co-parenting arrangement and things are working well, take a moment to acknowledge that. It is worth recognizing. And if there are areas that still need work, that is entirely normal too. Co-parenting is a long-term practice, not a destination.

The 90-Day Restorative Divorce® Workbook is designed to support co-parenting at every stage, including the ongoing work of building something that genuinely serves your children: https://www.birtlaw.com/90-day-restorative-divorce-workbook

One of the harder lessons I’ve learned over nearly two decades in family law is that being capable of doing something do...
10/07/2026

One of the harder lessons I’ve learned over nearly two decades in family law is that being capable of doing something doesn’t necessarily mean you should do it.

I recently had the opportunity to present on Practice Building during a 40-hour mediation training. It caused me to reflect on how much my own practice has changed over the years. Early in our careers, we often focus on what we can do. With experience, the harder question sometimes becomes: What should I be doing?

Cases change. Practices change. Sometimes a perfectly good case is no longer the right case for the practice you’re building. Knowing when to say yes matters, but knowing when to say no can matter just as much.

In my latest blog, I write about finding your professional North Star, the opportunity cost of saying yes, and why experience sometimes means recognizing what no longer belongs in your practice.

A North Star is useful only if we are willing to follow it when doing so costs us something.

Read Finding Your North Star in Divorce Practice:
https://www.birtlaw.com/when-a-good-family-law-case-stops-being-the-right-case

October is one of the most productive months for families considering mediation. The school year is settled, summer is b...
10/07/2026

October is one of the most productive months for families considering mediation. The school year is settled, summer is behind you, and the new year is close enough to plan toward but far enough away to approach with genuine intention rather than urgency.

For families with existing parenting plans that need reviewing, agreements that have drifted from the original terms, or financial arrangements that no longer reflect current circumstances, a focused mediation session in October or November gives families the opportunity to address those issues before the holiday season adds complexity and before January arrives with new expectations.

At Birt Family Law, we offer mediation planning sessions as a practical first step for families who are ready to review and strengthen their arrangements. It is a straightforward, productive conversation focused entirely on what works best for the family moving forward.

If you are beginning to think about what this could look like, the free chapter of The Kitchen Table Divorce® is a practical first step: https://www.birtlaw.com/free-chapter-the-kitchen-table-divorce-by-erin-birt

The holiday season is approaching and for co-parenting families that means conversations with children about what this y...
10/06/2026

The holiday season is approaching and for co-parenting families that means conversations with children about what this year will look like. Those conversations, handled well, can set a genuinely positive tone for the whole season. Handled poorly, they can create anxiety and confusion that follows children through every holiday occasion.

A few things that tend to help. Keep the conversation simple and age-appropriate. Focus on what is happening rather than what is different. Use positive language about both homes and both parents. And give children space to ask questions without feeling that their questions are causing stress.

Children take their emotional cues from the adults around them. A parent who speaks about the holiday arrangements with calm confidence signals to the child that everything is okay, that both homes are good places to be, and that the season is still something to look forward to. That is one of the most valuable gifts a parent can give their child at this time of year.

Many parents start with the children's book as a gentle first step: https://www.birtlaw.com/rudy-ali-book

Not every moment in divorce requires an immediate response.An upsetting text. A request to change the parenting schedule...
10/05/2026

Not every moment in divorce requires an immediate response.

An upsetting text. A request to change the parenting schedule. A financial transaction you don’t recognize. A comment that brings back years of frustration.

It’s easy to react to what just happened instead of stopping to ask: What actually needs to be decided here?

In Episode 7 of The Restorative Divorce Podcast, I’m beginning Part 2 of Season 4 with themes from The 90-Day Restorative Divorce® Workbook.

We’re talking about slowing reactivity, recognizing emotional triggers, and using structured thinking to make more thoughtful decisions during divorce.

One of my favorite instructions from the workbook is simple:

“Try not to judge them—just observe.”

Notice what you’re feeling. Notice what triggered it. Notice what you want to do next.

Then decide what actually needs to happen.

🎙️ Episode 7: Why Reflection Changes Divorce Outcomes

Listen to the episode and learn more about my divorce legal and mediation services at BirtLaw.com.

Over the past several months we have been sharing information about the Illinois child support changes coming in January...
10/05/2026

Over the past several months we have been sharing information about the Illinois child support changes coming in January 2027. With just three months remaining before those changes take effect, this is an ideal time for Illinois families to take stock of where they stand and make sure they are well positioned for what is coming.

The key changes to understand. The current 146 overnight threshold is being replaced with a tiered adjustment structure beginning at 110 overnights per year, which means parenting time counts will carry financial significance across a broader range of overnight totals. Overnight equivalents will be introduced for parents with non-traditional work schedules. And annual income exchanges will become a standard feature of support orders.

The families who will navigate these changes most smoothly are those who have already addressed parenting time and financial planning together with clear documentation and professional support. If that conversation has not yet happened, three months is still enough time to approach it thoughtfully.

At Birt Family Law we are supporting Illinois families in preparing for these changes through mediation and the Restorative Divorce® framework. The goal is informed, considered planning that serves children and families well into 2027 and beyond.

The 90-Day Restorative Divorce® Workbook helps families work through parenting time and financial priorities together, before and during the legal process: https://www.birtlaw.com/90-day-restorative-divorce-workbook

10/03/2026

Rudy would like everyone to know that his story has been published.

He remains very laid back about it. 😂

Meet Rudy & Ali in their children’s book 🐾
📚 Link in bio or here:
https://www.birtlaw.com/rudy-ali-book

October sits in a particularly useful window for co-parenting families. School is settled, summer is behind you, and the...
10/01/2026

October sits in a particularly useful window for co-parenting families. School is settled, summer is behind you, and the holiday season is close enough to plan for but not yet close enough to create pressure. That makes it one of the most practical times of year to take stock of how the co-parenting arrangement is working and address anything that needs attention before the busiest season of the year arrives.

A few things worth reviewing now. How has the parenting schedule worked in practice since school started? Are there any adjustments needed before the holiday period? How will Thanksgiving, winter break, and other significant occasions be handled this year? And are there any communication patterns that have developed that would benefit from a reset before the added complexity of the holiday season?

Addressing these questions now, calmly and in advance, tends to produce a much smoother holiday season than waiting until December when emotions are higher and flexibility is lower.

The 90-Day Restorative Divorce® Workbook includes structured tools to help families review and strengthen their co-parenting approach at any stage of the process: https://www.birtlaw.com/90-day-restorative-divorce-workbook

Financial independence after divorce looks different for every person. For some it means returning to work after time aw...
09/30/2026

Financial independence after divorce looks different for every person. For some it means returning to work after time away. For others it means restructuring a budget that was built for two into one that works for one. For others still it means learning to manage finances that were previously handled by a partner, or simply adjusting to a new normal that feels unfamiliar at first.

What tends to help most is approaching the financial dimension of this transition with the same intentionality brought to the legal and emotional dimensions. Getting a clear picture of your actual income and expenses. Setting realistic short and longer-term financial goals. Building a budget that reflects your new circumstances rather than the old ones. And being patient with yourself as you find your footing.

Financial independence after divorce is not achieved in a single moment. It is built gradually, through a series of considered decisions that accumulate into something genuinely solid over time.

Many people begin by reading a free chapter of The Kitchen Table Divorce® to gain clarity on their first steps during this season: https://www.birtlaw.com/free-chapter-the-kitchen-table-divorce-by-erin-birt

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