11/12/2025
Courtroom Story Time:
Today was the fourth day in a divorce trial. After days of evidence in April, July, and October, today was time for both sides to present their closing argument. Unusually, this judge directed the lawyers to write and file memos explaining what we each wanted the Court to decide and why, and then had us come into court to present whatever argument we wanted to present orally. (Usually you just do closing argument orally, occasionally in writing, but I had never encountered both.)
The memos ended up due two days ago. For a combination of reasons not worth getting into, the judge had not read the memos in advance, contrary to my expectations. So I was mostly reading him my memo, with a few sections of additions that responded to parts of the opposing counsel’s memo.
I started to explain the most complex property issue I have ever encountered in my practice. The judge interrupted with a question 3 or 4 steps ahead of where I was.
I said “respectfully, I’d propose that I continue laying out my detailed argument, and you let me know when you have a question…”
It turned out “respectfully” is a bad word in his courtroom. He told us that the judge he clerked for said that when someone said “respectfully” they implied “you’re an idiot.” I apologized for the faux pas and he allowed me to move on.
I preceded to lay out my seven part explanation for why my client should get compensated for an apartment building built in Africa on land which probably belongs to her husband’s brother, and why my client's testimony about the value of the property should be considered and adopted by the judge.
As I finished the seventh point, the judge interjected “this memo is perfect.”
I continued to lay out the rest of my argument, and then it was opposing counsel’s turn. She barely laid a hand on the vast majority of my argument, even the parts that could reasonably be questioned.
The judge grilled her with numerous questions, and basically analogized her situation in asserting her client’s position to his when he was a defense attorney with a clearly guilty client. He was explicit that he did not believe her client’s claim that he didn’t pay to build this apartment building.
I called my mentor at the end of the day and said I don’t remember a judge having ever called anything I did “perfect.” She said it never happened to her in 25 years of practice.
Ruling will be next month!
