Up against a wall, fighting for the truth.

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Up against a wall, fighting for the truth. I can't find anyone in Topeka, that has Jurisdiction over child's court. I emailed the Office vi You don't have to do it alone.

Dealing with DCF, when the issue is domestic violence is a nightmare. I understand, we have to stand together, they must be held accountable for their actions.

02/08/2026

Abuse is abuse, no matter the form it comes in.
When a woman is abused she walks away broken.
When a woman is broken she walks around in pieces. She no longer believes she is worthy, beautiful, she carries the quilt caused by her abuser.
And then she is blamed, treated as the aggressor, she believes that she should have tried harder. When the truth is her abuser did not care, he put her down, told lies about her so people would hate her.
You would think years later she would be healed but still she scrambles to be ok. To know her value and worth is much more than her abuser deserved, but people especially the system made to protect her, uses the abuse as a reason to take away more from her than she has to give.
They use the children as pawns, taking them away when she is a good mother, is a different kind of abuse. They should be brought to justice and thrown into prison, instead they are protected by those within the court
Leaving the mother devastated, stealing her hopes, dreams, and the only true love that she ever knew.
Leaving her without anything that is important in this life to help themselves.
It is sad that people stand by and allow the crimes committed against the mother, knowing the truth just to be a part of.
Well let me tell you you stand with Satan doing his deeds and taring mother and children apart.
So you to will be set apart, set in the holes of hell for participating in crimes against the FATHER. Remember you thought being a part of the plan, being apart of the criminals and allowing it to happen, it will bite you in your but when judgement day comes, and you stand alone, no one to blame but yourself, no one to cover up for you, no one but you will stand before your CREATOR to be punished for all the hurt , dishonesty, and lies you have covered up to be a part of them.

03/26/2024

God can restore lost years by bringing long-term gain from short-term loss. The effect of these great trials in your life will be that “the tested genuineness of your faith . . . may result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:7). The praise, glory, and honor go to Christ because his power guarded you and kept you through the hardest years of your life.

Our sins, our grief, our sorrows, were laid on him. Our judgment fell on him. Our locusts swarmed all over him. The life of God’s tender shoot was “cut off.” Then, on the third day, the Son of God rose in the power of an eternal life. He offers himself to you, and he says what no one else can ever say: “I will restore the years that the locusts have eaten.”

08/06/2022

The mind is a fragile element to our being. You would think a "normal" person would run when they saw him again, but self worth was not something I had acquired along the way. Let me back track for a minute, so that you will understand why I had thought when a person hit you they must care, right?
I was the fifth child out of ten, eight from my father and two from my step father. I met my father twice the first time, he came to pick us kids up and we were going to stay with him and his wife and her to kids. I was pretty young but I will never forget when he came in looking for his little girl me and I got to ride in the front seat and play with the radio while he sang different songs.
This is important because all my brothers and sisters were blond and light color eyes, I took after my dad which would explain the , don't get me wrong I love my mother but lets say I was not her favorite. So the attention was a new feeling for me.
The second time I seen him he was drunk and on his way to Kansas city , where he died in a warehouse eaten by rats. We never meet our relatives on his side of the family so it was just mom and us kids.
My step dad gave us stability and a home, after my mom and dad broke up my mom who had no family and was under a lot of pressure moving here knowing no one, she found her wild side lets say. When she brought home our step dad who quickly moved us into a real house not the projects. Where we had our first Christmas with a tree and presents. We seemed like a family.
I quickly learned there is a price to pay, but we were safe, had a home, had food to eat and clean clothes to wear. He took something from me , and then used it as a weapon against me by reminding me where we had come from. I seen that my brothers and sisters so happy to be together, so it became silently nonnegotiable.
Feelings of emptiness filled my soul, I remember once my mom looked so tired I was going to help her with laundry. We had an old fashion washer with a peddle on the floor that made the ringers turn, the first sheet grabbed my hand and pulled my arm in, I screamed and my brother came running.. For a couple days as my arm was dying nobody sought emergency care.
It was not until the school told my mom if she did not take me to hospital they would call DCF. My mom and step dad dropped me off at the hospital door and it was well into a month before the nurses figured out I had been there alone. I did not see my family for three months.
So needless to say I was the black sheep and at 11 I asked her to make her husband leave me alone, she said it was my fault and to get out. Two years later when DCF figured out I wasn't in school, at 13 my mom called me in as a runaway and a few month later I was emancipated. And I had just recently met him, even though I did not like him very much, it was attention.

07/22/2022

As a woman who was beat into submission, not by choice but by fear. I was alone and nobody cared.
I want to share some of my story, for my self I am not going to lie. But I was divorce in 1996 (never married) he has never been out of my life, although physcially about 2007, training of his control still effect me today.
If anyone can relate or if for nothing else if somebody has lost themselves, their way, their very identity, and had no one to help you, which caused the feelings of unworthiness always bringing up questions like "why dont people like me?" And you finally feel like your not alone, then it will have all been for a reason, I am alone.
I know that their are many out their living with the destruction of self, being controlled completely but the fear, rejection, the unworthiness are just a few emotions that keep it a secret. So here is part of my story.
"Please lead me LORD JESUS"
I met this person at 13 years old, I was already emancipated and lost but that's another story. I did not like him at all , it was a high school party I only knew my best friend whose boyfriend was best friends with this person. He was cocky, arrogant, and in his head everyone wanted him.
I was working full time for a cleaning service, staying with my oldest sister and brother David's trailer. We had hung out a couple times, the four of us, and my brother was killed in a car wreck also my first boyfriend, first crush, my first love. It was very traumatizing for little community inside a city so to speak. Everyone lost someone that night.
It happened so fast emotionally numb, shock, and overcome with sadness. I found myself agreeing for a first date, I wasn't looking forward to it. We went to a friend of his house, a pretty good sized party, I was uncomfortable and was ready to go but he had disappeared.
I am not going to lie, being left by yourself at a party knowing no one sitting close to the avail keg, I will admit I was feeling good, the party was over when he showed back up and was ready to go.
Our first date ended a neighbor stopping him from body slamming me on the driveway of his mothers home. The man thought I was dead because I wasn't making any noises. I woke up on his moms living room floor behind a chair with his mother in my faces saying something to the fact that you just take it and don't tell anybody.
I am not sure how it happen but he convinced me that I should stay there and let him take care of me till I healed. It wasn't long before my job became a problem, even though they picked me up and dropped me off. The mental and emotional abuse started right away, accusing me of sleeping with people at work. I was this and that because I was always at work, so it was my fault by the time I would get there he was gone so I would just sit there all night by myself.
I did not have to many friends left after we would go to their house and he would start a fight and spit in my face calling me names and I would be to embarrassed to go there again or I would find out they sleep together, he always found a way for me to know and how it was my fault. And him being such a manipulator I believed him in a weird kind of way.
Already had low self esteem , low self worth, he taught me how to blame myself for everything. I became dependent on him, the more he isolated me.
I don't want to make them to long so will stop and call this PART 1 of the path I was led and has never ended.

You could not tell from the outside.But the marks on her soul had been left, isolated to a world of her own. They would ...
07/21/2022

You could not tell from the outside.
But the marks on her soul had been left, isolated to a world of her own. They would not admit to what they had done, the lies they told appeared like bloody strap marks upon her soul.
They took what she had made, everything that made her alive. Embedded in her mind how worthless she would be, cutting deep into her heart, it was motherhood and it was hers.
The mistakes she would have made, were hers to make. The lives of her children were hers to be. She couldn't go on, she could not breathe. That day her heart stopped, but her body kept living.
This could not happen, it had to stop. He beat her and beat her, they never made it stop. The feelings of being a human being had stopped, not from the bruises, it is the mind, heart, and soul that suffered the damage. The hurt she physically felt of two innocent children punished not protected.
She tries to hold on for the love her children had for her, the trust, They were her world, her way, her every heart beat. She knew when she held them, the sparkle in their eyes told the love of a mother. She would protect them and love them with all her heart,
In circles she goes of knowing no one can love a child like their mother. How much could a heart break, how much pain could a person take. Her heart and spirit broke and bruised, her mind confused. When they took them away, because he beat her that day.
With their power they won, the cover up had begun. It doesn't matter were she turns. No one sees her as a person, equal. The days and minutes pass and exhausted from the fight , isolated and alone the emptiness and sadness grows, but for her, she had made a promised for both she'd fight.
She is caught in a system allowed to defile her every right. A system that has left three people incomplete, how can you take away someones, the damage you have done, the years that you have stolen.
I missed the smiles, the tears, the closeness, the love knowing your own child, you say you love her, yet took it upon yourself that her identity of my daughter was bad, when it made her beautiful yet you yourself changed her, she was perfect as she was, you lied and manipulated my little girl convincing her I did not love her enough. What kind of love is that when a child needs to know her mothers love, you changed her for who GOD made her to be.
She is holding on by her belief in GOD the FATHER and JESUS CHRIST her Savior. It was on that tree that he carried in where her name is written HIS blood was shed.
I live with the quilt and shame, I take on the blame, Nobody feels what a mother feels when her children ate illegally stolen. the system is a cover up . When you see her she is dead inside, waiting for the truth , praying for mercy and grace but justice under the law of the KING of all KINGS, A,D LORD OF LORD, She prays for forgiveness and stands faithfully in HIS hand for justice.

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