Nicole M. Viscomi, Esquire

06/17/2026

This. No matter what a child says we should listen and presume they are telling us how they feel. We shouldn’t discount their feelings just because they don’t align with one parent. It’s not our or anyone’s job to tell a child they are wrong about how they feel because the reality is it’s how they feel even if the adults around them don’t understand it. It’s our job to acknowledge that the child feels that way and help them to explore why they feel that way. And once the child is able to identify and understand why they feel that way it’s our job to help figure out what the adults around them can do differently to help change those feelings into more positive ones as well as to support the child as they figure out what they can work on to either better things they need to work on or protect themselves to the best of their ability.

But we should absolutely never tell a kid they don’t feel the way they do because their feelings are real even if they don’t make sense to others. And we shouldn’t be making custody decisions by discounting a child’s negative feelings. Those negative feelings should be a red flag for the court to look deeper at what’s going on with the parent that makes the child feel those feelings rather than having the court assume the safe parent made the child say those things.

Children's wishes and feelings should not become more or less credible depending on whether adults agree with them. A child expressing love for a parent is often accepted at face value.

A child expressing fear can be met with questions about influence, coaching or motivation. The issue is not whether concerns should be explored.

The issue is whether all possibilities are being explored equally. Because children deserve more than assumptions. They deserve to be heard, taken seriously, and protected through a process that is willing to test evidence rather than reach conclusions before it has been examined.

05/26/2026

This is not ok. In fact there will likely never be a situation where this is ok.

A Bloomberg Law investigation found 40 federal civil rights lawsuits since 2017 claiming children and teenagers were strip searched at school without parents knowing – often for v**e pens and minor offenses. Read more at the link in our comments.

05/20/2026

05/15/2026

This. Stop and think about your relationship with the abuser. I bet you will realize you don’t spend long periods of time with the abuser which means it’s easier for the abuser to put on a show and show to make you believe the abuser isn’t an abuser. Does the abuser make it seem like their lives are perfect? That’s another sign the abuser isn’t who you think the abuser is as nothing is that perfect it’s just what the abuser wants you to think it looks like in their house. The list goes on and on and it’s easy to see if you’re looking closely at your relationship with the abuser. So be sure to believe a victim no matter what your initial thoughts are about the abuser.

Pro-tip: Believe a survivor when they disclose abuse, even if you have a good relationship with their abuser.

Just because you haven’t seen it doesn’t mean the person you know and trust is not capable of abuse.

You can also share your local DV hotline number and offer to call it with the person who is experiencing abuse. That number here in Philly is 1-866-723-3014.

[Image description: A picture of Lisa Simpson from “The Simpsons,” standing on a stage and giving a presentation to a captivated audience. Lisa looks angry as she reads off the words on the projector screen behind her: “Refusing to believe a survivor of abuse because you have a great relationship with their abuser is victim-blaming behavior.”]

04/25/2026

This is everything. It’s not the task that’s the issue necessarily it’s something about the task that’s the issue. The goal isn’t to get them to do it in the way most expect it to be done. It’s about figuring out what’s making it hard and figuring out how to get to the end goal in a way that works best for that particular kid.

04/22/2026

This when you accuse the other parent of being enmeshed with the child or committing parental alienation not only are you telling me that you are an abuser and the issue, but you are showing me that your goal is to harm the other parent at the expense of your child.

Your kiddo was created by both of you and has to live with the fact that one parent thinks, believes and voices that belief that half of what makes up that kiddo is awful and horrible. That in itself is more than enough to result in your kiddo opting to not really care for you as when you insult and degrade the other parent you are in part insulting and degrading a part of them too.

Let’s be very clear:

When a parent chooses to harm, belittle, or undermine their co-parent, they are also harming their child’s sense of safety and self.

Kids are wired to love both parents, so when one parent is constantly tearing the other down, the child gets caught in the crossfire.

This isn’t “high conflict.”
This isn’t “communication issues.”

This is a form of abuse, of coercive control and it has massive consequences for children and their development.

A loving parent does not weaponize their child’s other parent.

A loving parent does not sabotage a child’s attachment.

A loving parent does not make their child feel like they have to pick a side just to survive the day-to-day.

And if you are the protective parent trying to shield your child from the emotional fallout of someone else’s choices?

You are doing the bravest, hardest work, often with zero recognition.

You deserve support.

You deserve a space where you’re understood.
You deserve guidance that keeps your focus on what matters most: your child’s wellbeing and your own resilience.

➡️If you’re navigating this reality and want grounded, steady support, then The Collective may be exactly what you didn’t know you needed.
It’s been a serious game changer for so many protective parents just like you.

You don’t have to do this alone.