Nicole M. Viscomi, Esquire

08/25/2026

This happens because the abuser often doesn’t spend much time with the people who only see the “good” side of the abuser. The abuser can put on a show and be something the abuser is not for short periods of time but can’t sustain it because it is not who the real version of them.

Next time you find yourself saying something like huh that person is such a good person they couldn’t possibly do that think about how well you really know that person and how much time you truly spend with that person. I can guarantee the answer is you don’t really know the person and don’t really spend significant periods of time with that person. So do yourself a favor and put aside what you think you know and listen to the victim because if you do you may very well be able to help the victim and help break the cycle of abuse.

Abuse does not always come from someone the world recognizes as cruel. Sometimes it comes from the person everyone loves, trusts, and praises. Public kindness does not erase private cruelty.

How someone treats friends, coworkers, or strangers cannot tell you what happens behind closed doors. Believe women when they speak about experiences you were never there to witness.

08/14/2026

This is exactly what happens. The love bombing isn’t the real them but it is who you think is the real them. You stay because you think the good is who they really are but it isn’t. Often times they cycle and the longer you stay you will see those cycles happen more often where they can’t hold onto the good love bombing person for very long and the cruel not good person is around more often. Do yourself a favor and get out as they aren’t likely to change and most importantly you can’t change them.

Truth.

08/14/2026

This is the direction we all need to go. It’s way past time to start shifting the focus to the person who’s acting in a disrespectful and harmful manner instead of blaming the victim. What a person is wearing or not wearing is never an excuse and by pushing that all that happens is we enable the people behaving badly to continue to do so.

07/31/2026

This is a really big deal not only because they held the parent responsible for providing the child with the gun that led to this shooting, but because in part this result occurred because the parent failed to address the child’s mental health needs and seek out help. My hope is this gets the attention it deserves because it should be a wake up call to all those parents out there who take the stance of kids will be kids and they don’t need help. Mental health issues among kids are at high levels and so many go without getting help and that’s unacceptable. As a parents we need to stop making excuses for our kids, stop modeling things like bullying and start helping our kids by modeling accountability, asking for help, and actually helping them get access to help. And yes I know getting access to help is a giant problem too as everyone has waitlists, that doesn’t mean we don’t do what we can to get them help. Even if a kiddo is sitting on a waitlist for a therapist there are other ways to start helping them. They can utilize their guidance counselors at school, some schools have therapists in house that may have availability to help, sitting down and just talking openly with your kid about what’s going on and helping them navigate it, and honestly just being involved in their life by knowing where they are, who they are with, helping at school events etc.

I’m glad this case ended the way that it did and I hope it doesn’t get buried under everything else that’s going on in this country as it needs to be impactful. This is how we being change.

A man who gave his son an assault rifle that the teenager used to unleash a mass shooting at a Georgia high school in 2024 was sentenced to 15 years in prison.

A jury convicted Colin Gray in March on multiple charges, including second-degree murder and involuntary manslaughter, over the Christmas gift of the weapon his son used in the Sept. 4, 2024, shooting at Apalachee High School.

The younger Gray, now 16, was sentenced to life without parole days earlier for the shooting, which left two students and two teachers dead. Another teacher and eight more students were wounded, seven of them by gunfire.

Read more: nbcnews.to/4yOcO0V

07/24/2026

These are some great things to think about as the world today for parents does not look like the world in which we were raised.

07/10/2026

This. If it’s not safe and healthy contact it’s not worth it because it’s damaging to the child in some way. We shouldn’t tolerate putting a child in any situation that’s harmful to them physically, mentally, emotionally or in any other way. And when we do it’s clearly to focus on the best interest from the parent’s perspective not the best interest of the child. Better to offer the services to that parent to help them work on oneself as well as work on the relationship with the child than to just let them have access and continue to harm the child.

When people hear the word "contact," it's often treated as though the conversation ends there.
But it shouldn't.

The question shouldn't just be whether contact takes place.

It should also be whether that contact is emotionally and physically safe for the child, supports their wellbeing, and helps them grow without fear.

Every child deserves relationships that make them feel safe, secure and protected. A relationship should never be judged by the amount of contact alone, but by the quality of that contact and the impact it has on the child's life.

Children don't just need adults around them.
They need adults who make them feel safe.
Because contact should never be the goal on its own.

Safe contact should be.

07/09/2026

Until you’ve lived in this you can never truly understand it. But there are ways for all of us to recognize that this may exist in relationships around us so that instead of victim blaming by saying “why didn’t you leave” we can say “I see you and I want to help you get out”. If we start to make that shift we can help shut these abusers down. Look for patterns like is every relationship the same thing (ie they always say the ex is so crazy and they are in a new relationship fairly quickly maybe even one that already has kids in it), reflect on whether they often go out with others or is it more that they keep to themselves and if so why, have you seen changes in the person like they don’t want to hang out anymore but there’s not really a good reason or they aren’t out with you unless they are together, how does the partner talk about them when they aren’t around is it always negative or is it positive? Also watch their social media are they living the life that looks too good to be true because if so there’s likely something like what’s in this post going on.

Help them to find their way out instead of leaving them there and thinking everything must be find themselves again. Trust me it’s worth it and that person you opt to help instead of ignore will forever be appreciative.

07/08/2026

It’s not resilience at all. It’s learning how to survive because the Courts continually put the best interest of the parent over the best interest of the child. It’s not resilience it’s trauma that will impact that child for the rest of his/her life and it was preventable.

No child should have to go into survival mode just to get through visits. We have to do better.

Children are incredibly good at adapting.
They adapt because they have to, they learn to read people's moods. They learn to stay quiet. They learn to hide how they're feeling. They learn to survive situations that no child should ever have to navigate.

That's often described as resilience.

But resilience shouldn't be measured by how much pain a child can carry without anyone noticing. A child appearing to cope doesn't always mean they're okay. Sometimes it simply means they've become very good at surviving. Every child deserves more than survival. They deserve safety, stability, and adults who recognise that coping with trauma is not the same as growing up without it.

We shouldn't admire how resilient children become because of abuse.

We should be asking why they ever had to be.

07/01/2026

I think there’s a lot of truth to this. Marriage isn’t what it used to be for so many reasons. Chief among those reasons are people no longer want to work on things because they can throw it out and find someone new. Another very common issue is the failure to see/accept/encourage women to be partners in a marriage as there’s still this strongly engrained notion in many marriages that the husband goes to work and brings home the money and runs the house while the wife takes care of all things at home. This often creates a power imbalance where the stay at home spouse is dependent upon the one that works and often very under appreciated and without a lot of down time for self care.

While some are adapting and changing to a new version of marriage where they do act as partners instead of situation where there’s a big power imbalance, it’s not happening in every marriage. My hope is that people continue to adapt and change so that marriage can again be a meaningful partnership where partners feel like equals instead of having a power imbalance.

Def VERY POSSIBLE! 🤷‍♀️
There will be women, and possibly men, who agree…
Something to consider….men and women!
*Update: typical phenomena….those that think they disagree with the post seem to comment things that have nothing to do with the point of the post at all. 🤷‍♀️