02/15/2026
So Valentine's Day is behind you. Whew! Here are some ways to think about being single again.
Love, Labels, and Choosing a Life That Actually Fits
For a long time, the script felt simple.
Find a partner.
Get married.
Build a life.
Today, the landscape looks very different. People are marrying
later, redefining commitment, or opting out altogether. According to psychologist Jennifer Taitz, this shift is not only cultural, it is also deeply personal, and often stressful.
In her books How to Be Single and Happy and Stress Resets, Taitz makes a steadying point: there is no single relationship status that guarantees happiness. And yet, many people still feel as though they are doing something wrong if they are not partnered in a familiar or socially approved way.
That pressure shows up often for people navigating divorce or redefining life afterward. The question beneath the surface is rarely, What do I want? More often, it’s Why does this feel like a failure?
When Dating Stress Gets Personal
Taitz notes that modern dating can be destabilizing by design. Apps invite comparison. Ambiguity is common. Ghosting happens. According to Taitz, struggling in this environment does not mean there is something wrong with you. It means you are human.
She also points to research showing that marriage itself increases happiness only marginally. What matters far more is whether a person feels aligned with their values, supported by meaningful connection, and able to live with intention.
Happiness does not need to wait until a particular relationship milestone is reached.
Zooming Out When One Area Takes Over
In Stress Resets, Taitz describes an exercise that helps when relationship stress begins to dominate your thoughts.
Imagine your life as a circle divided into sections: health, friendships, family, work, purpose, growth, spirituality, contribution, rest, joy, love. Each matter. None deserves to take over the whole picture.
When one area grows too large, disappointment feels overwhelming. When life is more balanced, setbacks still hurt, but they don’t define you.
This perspective can be especially grounding after divorce, when it’s easy to let one loss overshadow everything else that is still steady or unfolding.
Letting Emotions Move Without Letting Them Drive
Taitz also emphasizes how we relate to emotions. Intense feelings often convince us they are permanent. They aren’t.
Rather than suppressing emotions or rushing to act on them, she encourages noticing them. Observing where they show up in the body. Allowing them to rise and fall without judgment. Emotions tend to move more quickly when we stop resisting them.
Peace of mind, as Taitz frames it, is not life feeling easy. It’s trusting your ability to cope, even when outcomes remain uncertain.
A Closing Thought
There is no universally correct way to structure a life.
There is only the ongoing work of alignment.
Jennifer Taitz’s work is a helpful reminder that fulfillment comes less from labels and more from living deliberately, with compassion for yourself along the way.
Reflection:
Which part of your “life circle” has been taking up the most space lately, and which part might need a little more room?
Wishing you wisdom,
Deb and Gabi
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