05/22/2026
Part Three of “It’s About Time”
How Do I Choose a Guardian for My Child?
(Originally published in 2018)
Let’s be honest for a minute.
Who has time to plan ANYTHING these days?
As parents, our schedules are packed with school projects, sports practices, extracurricular activities, family obligations, work, and trying to remember whether we switched the laundry over before it started smelling funny.
Most days, you’re lucky if you keep up with the truly urgent things on your calendar.
So sitting down to think about who would raise your children if something happened to you?
That probably feels impossible.
I mean…it’s not exactly a life-or-death decision…right?
Well…
Actually, it is.
If parents are suddenly gone, someone has to step in and pick up that schedule.
Someone has to make sure your children are:
• Safe
• Fed
• Sheltered
• Loved
• Supported
• And still able to get to all the important moments in their lives
So yes.
It absolutely IS a life-or-death decision.
Now, once we establish that this conversation matters, the next question becomes:
“How do we choose a guardian?”
Or maybe an even harder question:
“What if my spouse and I can’t agree?”
Here’s my advice as an Estate Planning and Probate Attorney:
DO SOMETHING.
Because if you do nothing, then a judge — someone who does not know you, your children, your family dynamics, or your values — will make that decision for you.
And I know that’s not what most parents want.
Truthfully, there may never be a perfect solution.
But there is almost certainly a better solution than leaving your children’s future entirely in the hands of the court system.
Some parents avoid the conversation altogether because they think:
“If we don’t talk about it…maybe it won’t happen.”
Guys, I handle estate planning and probate matters every single week.
I talk with grieving families every week.
And I can tell you this:
Very few people wake up in the morning knowing it’s their last day on Earth.
No one knows when their time is up.
Yes, it’s uncomfortable.
Yes, it’s morbid.
Yes, nobody wants to talk about it.
But responsible parents protect their children.
And sometimes that means thinking about the unthinkable.
The good news?
You do not have to make this process more complicated than it needs to be.
Start here:
Sit down with your spouse or significant other and make a list of every person you would potentially trust to raise your children.
Do not overthink it.
Do not judge the list yet.
Do not even worry initially about whether they would say yes.
Just write down the people you know, like, trust, and believe your children also know, like, and trust.
Sometimes it helps if each parent makes their own list separately and compares notes later.
Then put the lists aside.
Next, make a completely separate list:
What values matter most to you when it comes to raising your children?
Things to consider:
• Parenting style
• Discipline philosophy
• Education values
• Emotional stability
• Prior relationship with your children
• Religious or moral beliefs
• Lifestyle and home environment
And let me say this clearly:
KEEP MONEY OUT OF IT.
Do not choose a guardian based on financial resources.
It is YOUR responsibility to create the financial plan that supports your children if something happens to you.
That may include:
• Life insurance
• Investments
• Trusts
• Savings
• Other financial planning tools
Your guardian should not have to financially carry the burden alone.
Once you’ve identified your values, compare them against your guardian list and rank your choices.
First choice.
Second choice.
Third choice.
Then ask yourself these practical questions:
• Does my child already know and trust this person?
• Would my child have to move far away from everything familiar?
• Do they share our values and beliefs?
• Are they physically and emotionally capable of raising children long term?
• Would our children blend well into their existing family dynamic?
• Are they actually willing to take on this responsibility?
And PLEASE…
Do not let someone discover after your death that you named them guardian without ever discussing it with them first.
That conversation matters.
Finally — and most importantly —
DOCUMENT YOUR CHOICES.
Legally.
Clearly.
Properly.
Make sure your wishes are in writing and will hold up in court.
So…
What are you waiting for?
It’s About Time.
Call Seymour Law Firm, PLLC today and let’s get started.