04/22/2026
Renting in the early 2000s:
āGot a job and a pulse? Perfect. Hereās your place.ā
Renting around 2015:
āBring first month, last month, and a depositā¦ weāll allow it.ā
Renting in 2026:
āWelcome! Before we begin, weāll need:
ā¢ Income that could qualify for a small nationās GDP
ā¢ First month, last month, security deposit, and a ājust becauseā fee
ā¢ Credit score high enough to make lenders blush
ā¢ $95 application fee (non-refundable, non-explainable, non-negotiable)
ā¢ Zero pets, zero noise, zero personality
ā¢ 5 referencesā¦ at least one must be your childhood best friend
ā¢ Pay stubs, bank statements, and possibly your astrological rising sign
ā¢ Late fee if your payment arrives at 12:00:01 like it hit traffic
The apartment:
600 sq ft if you stand diagonally
Carpet thatās lived a full, complicated life
Appliances making sounds that feelā¦ intentional
Water pressure that depends on your attitude
Listing description: āØāUpscale modern livingāāØ
Actual experience: āsurvival with amenitiesā š
Meanwhile, homeowners over here:
ā¢ Knocking down walls like itās HGTV at midnight
ā¢ Lighting candles, incense, fireworksā¦ nobody to report to
ā¢ Payments holding steady while rent is out here doing cardio
ā¢ Building wealth instead of sponsoring a landlordās beach trip
At some point it clicksā¦
you can keep auditioning for a place to liveā¦
OR
you can own the stage. š”š„
If youāre over the application Olympics, Iāve got you.
Shannon Sandry, MSIT, Broker
House Hustlers
478-972-4009
