03/01/2017
Sometimes I respond to anonymous legal inquiries on lawyers.com. This one, a question about child custody, was too good to not share. The writer inquired:
“A loved one of mine needs answers. He's expecting a child with a woman who is troublesome, she's left the state and provokes with harassing calls. Much of her support was from him, he wants custody as she is without a stable home or income and shows a strong need for mental and emotional help.”
My response:
So let me understand this. Your "loved one", who is about to be a father, feels that the best plan to deal with his pregnant, "troublesome" (i.e., financially and emotionally needy) baby mama is to take her newborn baby away from her, to another state? Um, no. Hell no. Unless his baby mama is a criminal, drug addict or insane, none of which seems to be the case here, not a judge on the planet would give dad custody. What SHOULD the expecting father do? Give his baby mama money to get set up in the "stable home" his child needs. And since he has such a strong desire to be an involved dad, perhaps he should find a job in the state where his child lives, and move there.
And of course, dad must pay child support. It's the law. If baby mama has any sense, she'll sue dad for child support as soon as she and baby are released from the hospital. Under New York law, an out-of-state child support order is enforced the same as a New York support order- with a direct deduction from dad's paycheck, in an amount based on his income. While paying support is mandatory for dad, visitation is something he will need to fight for in court, by filing a petition for visitation in mom's state. If dad is smart, he will stay out of court by sending mom child support BEFORE his wages are garnished, and setting up a visitation schedule with mom as soon as the child is born. Good luck to the expecting parents- and especially the baby.