So, a lot of people don't know what is going on with me right now n I questioned myself a whole lot on y I have been willing or wanted to. How could I let this happen how could I do this to you again how can I call myself your mom if I failed you how can I call myself a mom when I can't protect you how can I call myself a mom when I can't keep you safe how can I be the mom you all deserve when the
people that are supposed to help keep us together not just sit back n watch while we fall apart how is that possible when these are the same people society has entrusted to make the best decisions possible for all children in the world who really are neglected who r being abused physically or sexually by the people around them yet these r the ones these trustees turn away from acting as if it's never happened and they know nothing. While instead going after the ones who have their basic needs me they r it physically or sexually abused or neglected the only possible problem with these families are they r only tought how to parent children by their own parents parenting them so they may lack in emotional mental or spiritual availability as they were not shown how yet in these cases there really is no reason for detaining involved minors as this can be resolved while in the home and more often then not has better results in the long run then if detained for this type of neglect. So these trustees are to determine when the situation itself may call for detaining the minors or remaining in the home is best now not all workers do this well. There are a lot of key factors that influence that decision however most believe if you haven't lived it honestly then you probably are not the best judge in this situation. However we still appoint people have not lived this situation so some of us get labeled wrongfully due to lack of knowledge. For example when children have been in the system at all not to mention whatever went on to get them there they tend to need long term counseling and sometimes much more. Social workers are taught to look for signs like marks brushes n other things like this for physical or sexual types of abuse they r also tought that a child acting out is a guaranteed sign of some type of neglect however what they don't tell them is that may not always be the case a child who has past trauma in their lives that is still getting help with these things may also act out in the same ways. This does not mean you as a parent are not taking steps needed to better your child it simply means they still have things to work on on. So many workers dealing with families who have lived this situation before and a new area new agency gets involved at your request mind you they tend to see the negative rather then doing the research to see what positive things came of it so naturally they assume there must be neglect or abuse going on so we need to detain these kids without really knowing the situation. Which leads me to my current situation. Please don't judge feel free to read it . Keep in mind it's only bits and pieces as there is far more then just this that has happened thus far I will add more as I can thank you for your time all of you. However don't get e wrong not every case is this way as my kids have been detained in California prior to this case and rightfully so both times. However the majority of the workers they assigned to my case in California did their job and did it very well and they were all about reunifying families and so I'm grateful to them for everything they did as it made me a better friend a better sister a better aunt a better mom and a better person all together. Although this time that is not my story. I'm at such a loss with my case right now I've done everything I possibly can or know how to. I've prayed so much I don't think there is a prayer I haven't said. My rights are set to be terminated in September please anyone im begging please help me help my children. The 3 youngest r in an abusive home. When reported at a visit by my children they did an emergency report however they sent them right back there after the next day when I inqured as to what they were doing about it I was told I shouldn't influence conversations to go the way I want them to. Keep in mind I recorded this visit as I did Every visit no where did I influence anything I have asked multiple people if I missed som**hing and if it were possible that I had influenced it and all have said no that aside from the degrees I did everything in that situation as a professional would have done. They r still there dhs/cps there also felt the need to tell my oldest daughter she was the product of a r**e at 14yrs old with 8 different mental health disorders. Due to gaining the knowledge of her sister only being a half sister my youngest daughter now refuses visits with her older sister who keep in mind was never in her life seperated from her until this agency took jurisdiction. In all reality the detention of my children should never have happened n had cps/dhs done their actual job it wouldn't have. I begged n pleaded for them to please help me help my daughter as she was already in intensive therepy 5 days a week yet it still was not helping n beginning to cause a negative effect on the rest of the house n more importantly my other children. For a year n a half all I got was excuse after excuse as to y putting in the necessary referrals had not been put in so that my daughter would get the help she needed. At one point one of the er workers that came out I cried to telling him please help me help my daughter. His response was he wished he could soi responded with how sad I'm begging n pleading as a parent to help my daughter yet I feel like the only way that is going to happen is if they r detained first n that's not what you guys are for. You r supposed to help keep family's together not watch them fall apart. All he could say is sadly yes that is true. Unfortunately we don't have the resources in place to assist families like that unless we detain. So I then said so basically I have to sit back n watch my family fall apart and continue to feel as if I'm failing as a parent before u help my family. The worker put his head down n replied "unfortunately yes." 2 weeks after this conversation I got my kids up for school after getting home from working 20 hrs straight asked them how their night was they all said good when they were all ready for school I got my husband up to sit with them till the bus came and got my youngest up and dressed took him downstairs to my husband where he had his breakfast done and at the table for him. I went to bed so I could get up in 4-6 hrs n do it all over again. About 3 hours later I was being woke up by dhs/cps and a sheriffs officer to obtain my youngest son. The reason they gave me was supposedly my step son went to school telling his teacher that my husband had put his hands on him the night before so I immediately told the worker if that's the case he can pack his things n get out now as he is not worth losing my children on any given day the worker said it's to late for that. I had no knowledge of it until then as I said all the kids were good they all said they had a good night while I was at work so I didn't have a clue and he had told the worker this was the 1st time he had ever done that. So they took my kids from our home our family and our lives we had built because I didn't protect them. However at court the following Monday there was no mention of him hitting any one of the children he was never arrested or charged with anything the allegations were all about me which I denied because all allegations were not fact or anywhere near being a fact. So they wanted to continue to a further date as that meant both my attorney and theirs could call witness to testify against the other so the day before my attorney calls me to inform me that my 12yr old mentally unstable daughter was put on the witness list and would be there the following day and would have to testify so, I told my attorney I didn't care what I had to admit to lie or no lie as long as it meant my 12 yr old who already has enough problems to deal with and this should not be one so for the betterment of her mental and emotional well being I chose to admit to whatever they wanted me to as long as they did not add more damage pain hurt or confusion to her life by making her testify against her mom especially knowing that not one of the allegations were true so I kept questioning what could there possibly be that they could want her to testify against me for. I later found out that she had found a glass ma*****na pipe in my dresser drawer at one point and thought it was a m**h pipe. The particular pipe in question I had confiscated from my daughter's 11yr old friend earlier that day whom I gave to her mother the same night I took it from her so she could decide how to approach it with her daughter. I'm going to stop writing about this for now on that note as it is hard enough living it n thinking about it constantly n to write about it every time I do kills me inside and out just a lil more knowing this far everything I've tried everything I've done has not worked at all and has given me no hope. I will add more details and facts of my story in at some point this is just a tender subject for me right now. So again I ask please help me help them.
