07/27/2026
You have just lost a family member or friend and are named to be the Executor. Where do you start?
While this is certainly not meant to be comprehensive or a substitute to meeting with an estate attorney, here is what I usually tell me clients in these situations:
1. Do you want the job? You are just the nominee, so you do have the right to decline the nomination. It does comes with legal responsibility and even legal liability, so be sure and discuss these issues with an attorney before deciding. And do not think you will make lots of money for this job - usually it is a token amount relative to the time and aforesaid liability.
2. Is there a necessity for probate? Many assets can transfer without having to go through probate. Items in living trusts, accounts with beneficiary designations, and joint accounts usually can be handled without a court-supervised Executor. You may also be named as trustee, but that won’t require the delay and cost of being appointed by the court before you take charge. Start a list of which items fall into this non-probate category in contrast to simply being in the decedent’s name and may be frozen until you get court appointment as the estate representative.
3. Are there sufficient assets to pay the bills and pay for legal fees? This may take a while to fully sort out, but try and get a handle on this as quickly as you can, such as looking at bank statements and getting access to the mail / email. If there is not enough to take care of these things, think long and hard about handling this estate as payment to the wrong person (or one lower on the priority list) can put you personally on the hook to pay!
4. Assemble the team. Begin with consulting with an estate planning and probate attorney, possibly the one who drafted the documents. You should also meet with the financial and tax advisors used by the decedent. They may be familiar with the family dynamics and motivations of the decedent. Hopefully there is a written plan left by the decedent of these and auxiliary matters such as a list of financial institutions, account numbers, passwords to all sorts of things, beneficiary paperwork, wishes for distribution of personal items, contact lists, etc.
Final thoughts - Sadly, there will be more critics then well wishers, but you will have the satisfaction that you have been there for your friend or family member and carried out their wishes. Don’t try and do it alone or without professional guidance. AI and common sense just aren’t enough if you don’t have the experience to know where the land mines are. Good luck!
