08/25/2026
I used to think most debt had a pretty obvious explanation.
Overspending. Credit cards. Shopping. Living beyond your means. Poor money management.
Then I started representing people whose stories looked nothing like that.
They werenât drowning in debt because they were living lavishly.
They were drowning because everyone depended on them.
They were paying the rent.
Buying the groceries.
Helping with tuition.
Covering medical expenses.
Taking care of children, parents, siblings, and sometimes entire households.
Their paycheck would hit the account already spoken for.
And when the money wasnât enough?
They used a credit card.
Took out a loan.
Put off one bill to pay another.
Worked more.
Borrowed more.
And kept telling themselves theyâd catch up eventually.
Thatâs when I realized:
Sometimes debt isnât the result of being financially irresponsible.
Sometimes debt is the result of being financially responsible for too many people.
We praise breadwinners for being strong.
âYou always figure it out.â
âEverybody can depend on you.â
âI donât know what weâd do without you.â
But rarely does anyone stop and ask:
Who is taking care of the person taking care of everyone else?
Because eventually, being everyoneâs safety net can leave you without one of your own.
If thatâs you, hear me clearly:
You are allowed to have boundaries.
You are allowed to say, âI canât afford to do that right now.â
You are allowed to save money while someone you love has a financial problem.
You are allowed to build an emergency fund.
You are allowed to plan for retirement.
You are allowed to build a future that belongs to you, too.
Supporting the people you love should not require your own financial destruction.
Because sometimes debt doesnât come from spending too much.
Sometimes it comes from carrying too much.
And if youâve been carrying everyone else for years, maybe itâs time to make sure thereâs something left for you, too.
