09/13/2018
I mediated a case yesterday where the parties were in court fighting custody for the past four years. Mother had filed for restraining orders against Dad and was asking for monitored visitation and had moved to another state.
I first met the mom and her attorney and based on their assertions about Dad and their documents, it was easy to conclude that Dad was on the wrong, but after I met with the dad and then the mom separately to understand what the real issues are to help them, I realized that Mom's real intention was to get revenge from Dad and there was no real concern about Dad and Dad's intent was to do what he can to be a father including move to the other state.
The mom seemed to be fueled by some sort of satisfaction in making it hard for the Dad, and Dad was fueled by determination not to give in or give up.
Mom was not open to considering what is best for the child. I could see the resentment and stubbornness in her eyes.
I could see that this will and can go on for years while the child suffers with the fight.
I believe that if the Dad did not fight, the Mom would not have the satisfaction of war and eventually become more flexible. But I can understand how difficult it is for a parent to not fight for time with the child.
The best way folks is to stop the fighting at the beginning before it gains a momentum downhill.
