06/04/2026
🚨 30 DAYS UNTIL I TURN 50! 🚨
The countdown is officially ON… and after July 4th I’ll be eligible for things I never thought I’d be excited about. 😂
Things I’ll be able to do at 50:
✅ Randomly make noises when standing up
✅ Discuss fiber with genuine enthusiasm
✅ Start every story with “Back in my day…”
✅ Complain about restaurant music being too loud
✅ Walk into a room and forget why I’m there… with confidence
✅ Become a professional weather forecaster based on my joints
✅ Take pictures of flowers, sunsets, and birds without irony
✅ Go to bed at 8:30 and call it self-care
✅ Tell younger people “You’ll understand when you’re older”
✅ Officially enter my Vintage, Limited Edition, Highly Collectible era
30 days to go and honestly, I’m not aging… I’m increasing in value. 😉
What other things do I have to look forward to. Do I get a Sr discount yet at places? 🫢🤑