12/25/2019
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FOR 2019
Well, the holidays is around the corner again, which means another round of watching Christmas Story back to back or being terrorized by the Polar Express. Sure, some people watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation or It’s a Wonderful Life, but I was never a person that watched conventional holiday movies. Personally, I grew up not always believing in Santa, so I watched, Rebel Without a Claus. When I was younger, I didn’t have much holiday spirit. My parents were concerned, so they took me to the hospital to nurse me back to elf.
Of course, the holidays usually means presents and lots of purchases. I used to think that Santa must have been a real rich guy in order to get presents for every kid in the world. But growing up I realized that he was actually probably a broke Santa and was actually Saint-Nickel-Less. In fact, Santa is so cheap that he actually paid nothing for his sleigh. It was on the house!
Money, or lack thereof, during the holidays also means lots of anxiety and in some cases depression. Some people turn to alcohol. In fact, I heard that that Grinch goes to the liquor store when he’s searching for some holiday spirit.
Growing up, I always thought that Santa’s elves beared the brunt of the holiday depression since they had so much pressure to build and deliver all of those toys for all of the boys and girls around the world. It was only as I got older that I realized that they actually suffered from low elf-esteem. One elf in particular, named Ornament, had a drug problem due to the fact that he had been hooked on trees his whole life.
Of course, in addition to money, the holidays can be depressing because it reminds people of past family trauma. Of course, we all know that Frosty asked the court to grant him his divorce because his wife hated the holidays and was a total flake. Frosty wanted to marry somebody who actually liked the holidays, so he married a mummy, who was into all the wrapping.
Then there are the holiday carols. There’s Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, Jingle Bells, We Wish You a Merry Christmas, and many others. Of course, everybody knows that any parent’s favorite holiday carol is always Silent Night.
Hopefully this little article put a smile on your face. Whether you celebrate Hunakkah, Christmas, Kwanza, Wicca, or whatever holiday you celebrate this year, Michael Sue Attorney-At-Law wishes you a very Happy Holidays for 2019.