09/30/2026
I’ve sat across from women who waited years to tell anyone what happened to them, and it wasn’t because they didn’t want help. It was because they already knew what people would ask. Why didn’t you leave? What were you wearing? Are you sure that’s what happened? Hearing that from the person who hurt you is one thing, but hearing it from everyone else afterward is what teaches people to stay quiet.
We’ve gotten so used to reading about r*pe that it barely registers anymore. We size people up by how they look before they’ve said a word, and when we see someone being treated badly, most of us look down at our phones and keep walking. Then we act surprised when the people who need help the most stop asking for it.
And somehow, with all of that happening in our own communities, so much of the energy and outrage right now is aimed at immigrants. The same group that study after study shows commits crimes at lower rates than people born here. We are pouring time, money, and fear into the wrong place while women still aren’t believed, kids still aren’t safe, and the people doing real harm are often the ones we already know. If we actually cared about safety, that’s where our attention would be.
I don’t have a neat way to wrap this up. I just know that in all my years of doing this work, staying quiet has never once protected the person who needed protecting, and pointing fingers at the wrong people hasn’t either.
