06/02/2026
🚗💨 Me driving completely normal and obeying all traffic laws after getting a text that says:
"Hi, we're all-cash buyers, no contingencies, and we'd like to see that house in Whatcom County in the next 15 minutes."
Suddenly every red light feels personal.
Every slow driver becomes my greatest obstacle.
And somehow the GPS saying "arrival delayed by 2 minutes" feels like a direct attack.
Don't worry, officer—I wasn't speeding.
I was just practicing my rapid-response customer service skills. 😅