06/07/2026
Last week, I published a video apologizing for something I got badly wrong.
I grew up believing that racism, bigotry, and discrimination still existed, but that they had largely been pushed to the margins of American society.
I was wrong.
In the follow-up video, I try to answer a question many people asked:
"How could you not have seen it?"
The answer is uncomfortable.
I grew up in a community filled with decent people. I had access to good schools. I had opportunities. I was surrounded by people who generally tried to treat one another with dignity and respect.
And because that was my experience, I assumed it was representative.
It wasn't.
Over time, military service, international travel, working with Muslim allies overseas, and later prosecuting domestic violence cases involving primarily Black women in Washington, D.C., forced me to confront a reality I had not fully appreciated.
I had mistaken my own experience for reality.
Political philosopher Charles W. Mills called a related phenomenon "white ignorance." The intelligence community calls a similar analytical failure "mirror imaging."
Different fields. Similar insight.
Human beings are remarkably good at assuming that the way we experience the world is the way the world actually is.
One of the most important lessons of my adult life has been learning that understanding begins with humility.
Not certainty.
Not ideology.
Humility.
The willingness to ask a simple question:
**What might I be missing?**
I'm curious: what life experience, conversation, book, mentor, or event most challenged your assumptions and changed the way you see the world?