04/16/2024
Breakups happen.
And they suck. They do.
We all know this.
You can't make them not suck, but you can at least get through the process with a little class— or at least we can all try to do so.
Don’t be a total jerk or reprobate about a breakup.
1. DON'T break up during a fight. Even if you're sure the fight is the last straw, wait and do the breakup when you've cooled down. You'll be much less likely to do or say something hurtful or embarrassing.
2. DON'T give your soon-to-be-ex a litany of his or her character flaws. In the long term scheme of things, it won't matter what you think, and all you'll accomplish is making him or her feel bad. Which leads us to,
3. DON'T be insulting, condescending or belittling. As tempting as it might be to give your partner the kick to the curb with a kick in the ass, resist this urge. Your words will get around, and they'll make your already awkward social situation even worse.
4. DON'T place blame on your partner, or try to deflect it onto an external factor. Instead…
5. DO be honest about your motivation. A good way to put things is, "This relationship isn't working for me because…" This way, you're not telling your partner, "you suck." Rather, you're telling them, we've tried, but it isn't working. Try to find ways to phrase your reasons that aren't accusatory. For example, instead of saying, "You're a loser who can't hold down a job," you could say, "I feel like we have different career expectations and different financial goals.”
6. DO offer to return any personal property, clothing, apartment keys, headphones, etc. If they ask to keep something as a souvenir, let them (unless it's really valuable and important to you, in which case, suggest something else.)
7. DO have a plan to settle any debts, and untangle any legal or financial arrangements.
8. DO offer to return, delete, or destroy any sexually explicit photos or videos.
9. DON'T splatter the details of your breakup all over the internet/social media websites. Just don’t.
And finally,
10. Be kind. Be calm. Anger is not a good thing. You live long enough, you are going to have regrets...and the ones that nag at you the most are the ones where you know you had a choice as to how you could act.
