Divorced Virgin. My Story of How NOT to get Screwed by the System.

11/01/2025

28/12/2024

Reclaiming Life After Divorce: Let’s Talk About What Comes Next

You’ve signed the papers. The dust has settled. Now what? If you’re like me, you’re probably staring at your reflection in the mirror, asking, “What the hell do I do now?” Spoiler alert: You figure it out—one step, one choice, one awkward first dance at a singles’ party at a time.

Divorce isn’t just the end of a marriage; it’s the beginning of a new chapter. And trust me, while it might feel like you’re stumbling in the dark, there’s light ahead. Here’s what worked for me, and it might just work for you too.

1. Step One: Get Off the Couch

No, really. Put down the ice cream (or the whiskey). I get it—your heart feels like it’s been through a blender. But the first thing you need to do is move. Walk around the block. Hit the gym. Heck, take up kickboxing and pretend the punching bag is your ex’s lawyer. The endorphins will remind you that you’re alive—and that’s a good place to start.

2. Who Were You Before the “We”?

Remember that version of you who had dreams, hobbies, and goals before “we” turned into “me”? Yeah, that person’s still in there. Go find them. Start painting again. Take that solo trip to Italy you’ve always wanted. Or maybe just binge-watch a show without anyone rolling their eyes. It’s your time now.

3. Find Your People

Here’s a pro tip: not everyone will “get it.” Some friends will ghost you because they “don’t want to take sides.” (Hint: they already did.) That’s okay. The ones who stick around? Those are your people. Lean on them. Cry on their shoulders. Laugh about the absurdity of trying to date again at 40.

Oh, and don’t underestimate the power of support groups. Sometimes, strangers with their own divorce scars turn out to be the best listeners.

4. Money Stuff: Take the Reins

Divorce can wreak havoc on your finances. Sit down with a spreadsheet—or, if that makes you want to cry, sit down with someone who loves spreadsheets. Build a budget. Start fresh. And for the love of all things holy, don’t blow your savings on a midlife crisis sports car. (Unless it’s a really good deal—then maybe.)

5. Love? Maybe. YOU? Definitely.

Let’s get real: jumping back into dating isn’t mandatory. (And dating apps? Buckle up.) Focus on loving yourself first. Rediscover what makes you happy. And when you’re ready, you’ll know. Just remember: you’ve survived worse than an awkward first date.

Bonus Tip: Read Divorced Virgin

If you’re looking for someone who’s been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale with a bit of humour, grab a copy of my book. It’s raw, it’s real, and it might make you laugh when you need it most.

Check out Divorced Virgin here.
https://divorcedvirgin.com/books/divorced-virgin-my-story-of-how-not-to-get-screwed-by-the-system

Your Turn

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to reclaim your life after divorce? Leave a comment below—I’m all ears (and probably taking notes).

18/11/2024

GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE?

"For decades, books on divorce have been written by women, for women—stories of empowerment, liberation, and reclaiming independence. But what about the other side of the story? What about the men who find themselves blindsided in family court, fighting against a system that seems stacked against them?"
"Divorce Virgin" is different. It's not just another book about healing or self-care. This is a battle cry—a guide for men, written by a man, to navigate the treacherous waters of divorce. It's about levelling the playing field, exposing the injustices in the family court system, and giving a voice to the countless men who feel powerless in the face of the law."
"This isn't about revenge. It's about survival. About reclaiming your rights, your dignity, and your future. 'Divorce Virgin' is here to shed light on the often-overlooked struggle of men in divorce, and to arm you with the knowledge and strategies to protect what’s yours."

15/11/2024

Resources and tools for book publishers and writers

31/10/2024

GOING THROUGH DIVORCE ?

‎Nonfiction · 2024

04/10/2024

When you marry someone, you really marry three people: the person you fall in love with, the person you come to know afterwards… and the person who shows up in divorce court when you part ways. Unfortunately, there’s no way to know what the third person is like until you’re standing before a judge.

Divorced Virgin is a raw, searingly funny, and brutally frank account of Evan’s fight to avoid getting screwed in divorce court. It details a process that lasted for five years and took over fifty court appearances, during which Evan almost lost everything. It’s a memoir of loss, love, and bittersweet reflection on the romance that started his marriage over twenty years prior. Evan walks the reader through an eye-opening account of how the divorce process actually works, how much it can cost, and what mistakes to avoid (spoiler alert: he makes a lot of them). It’s an emotional rollercoaster with an important message for men going through a divorce: you’re not alone. Read about Evan’s journey and take his advice, and you can avoid getting screwed by the system too.

04/10/2024

When you marry someone, you really marry three people: the person you fall in love with, the person you come to know afterwards… and the person who shows up in divorce court when you part ways. Unfortunately, there’s no way to know what the third person is like until you’re standing before a judge.

Divorced Virgin is a raw, searingly funny, and brutally frank account of Evan’s fight to avoid getting screwed in divorce court. It details a process that lasted for five years and took over fifty court appearances, during which Evan almost lost everything. It’s a memoir of loss, love, and bittersweet reflection on the romance that started his marriage over twenty years prior. Evan walks the reader through an eye-opening account of how the divorce process actually works, how much it can cost, and what mistakes to avoid (spoiler alert: he makes a lot of them). It’s an emotional rollercoaster with an important message for men going through a divorce: you’re not alone. Read about Evan’s journey and take his advice, and you can avoid getting screwed by the system too.

04/10/2024

Evan Cutler, a successful self-made businessman married for more than twenty years, came home after a trip to find himself locked out of his house, his bank accounts, and even his business. It was the opening salvo in a divorce war that would consume five years, hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees, and much of his emotional strength.

In this fascinating memoir, follow Evan’s journey through a rollercoaster of court appearances, fly-by-night legal maneuvering, courtroom theatrics, and broken hearts. It’s a fascinating and detailed look at the ins and outs of the divorce process, both legally and emotionally. In a narrative that’s at times savagely funny and other times tearfully earnest, Evan shares the ups and downs of what it’s like to have your life turned upside down by the person you trusted the most. His story, which is full of cautionary tales, courtroom experience, and carefully researched legal information, is both engaging and encouraging. In the end, he managed to get away without being screwed by the system - a Divorced Virgin. It’s a story that any man going through a divorce should read. Remember: no matter how bad things look, you’re not alone.