02/08/2025
Dear Parents,
By Obafemi Hamzat, Lagos Deputy Governor
There are things that parents do that makes me wonder if they know the implications. In my teaching career, I've come to realize that children who are well brought up produce better results.
What I see these days is training the "butty" (aje butter) way which gets me scared of what will happen in the next 10-15 years.
I see eight year olds who don't bother to lay their beds.
I see 10 year olds served by the maid or "caring mum" on the table and they either don't pack the table or they just dump the plates in the kitchen for the maid or "caring mum".
Drivers carry the bags of
children above 5 years and the children call them "my driver".
Manual cloth washing is
gradually been replaced by
washing machines yet the maid or "caring mum" will be the one to do the laundry.
Children wake up and go straight to the TV and sleep late watching TV with mum and dad but mum and dad don't allow them read late.
They'll say "go and sleep".
I see parents play game for
hours on their phones yet
wonder why their children don't read and why their results are poor despite investment in expensive schools.
I see tweenagers and teenagers who can't cook common white rice because there's maid, nanny, cook, "caring mum" etc.
I see children who are addicted to cheating in exams, assignments, class work and the parents aren't taking conscious steps to correct it, instead some will bribe teachers to make their children first, teach them during external exams or take them to "miracle centres" to write their exams.
I see children who talk to their parents and other adults disrespectfully and all parents say is "children of nowadays are outspoken".
Your children's wardrobe is full of clothes but they don't have a single book.
You buy them lots of toys but you didn't buy them books.
I can go on and on.
See, when next you tell your
child not to do house chores,
study hard, etc, have it at the back of your mind that what you're saying is "don't take responsibility for your life".
I guess parents don't know that chores and morals are almost directly proportional to academic performance.
Haven't you thought of it that when our forefathers went to farm, fetched water, etc, before or after school, the world was a better place?
Haven't you thought of it that our local proverbs which have remained relevant were coined by unlettered men and women?
A Hausa proverb says, "Ka so naka, duniya ta 'ki shi..." favour your son and the world will reject him..." (vice-versa).
A Yoruba proverb also says, "eni a nwo ki wooran"... "those who make news don't watch news".
So when you're mentoring your children to be T.V. addicts you should understand what you're
grooming them to be.
There are TWO PAINS in life and everyone must suffer one; *PAIN OF DISCIPLINE* or *PAIN OF REGRET*.
When you're preventing your
children from going through *pain of discipline*, just understand that you're automatically preparing them for *pain of regret*.
Some parents feel that their
children's careers are secured because of their financial stand.
Now, let's do this analysis:
1. You get your children a job.
2. You make them take over your company.
3. You set up a business for
them.
1. If you get them a job and they have the wrong attitude at work like being late, talking rudely to clients, etc, which made the company lose a big contract, will they keep them there?
2. They take over your company and your company lost within three months an amount that you didn't make in your first five years in business due to their lack of discipline, will you pat them on the head and say I'm proud of you child?
3. They run the business shabbily and there's nothing to show for it within few years.
The earlier we stopped these
pampering the better. You will give an account to God for them.
Train your child in the way he
should go and when he is old, he won't depart from it.
-KOH
