08/25/2026
One of the biggest misconceptions about healing after divorce is believing that once you understand what happened, you'll automatically feel better.
But understanding your pain isn't always the same as healing it.
In episode #21 of The Divorce Circle Podcast, I sat down with clinical hypnotherapist and nervous system specialist Ranbir Puar, and one thing he said really stayed with me: "You cannot force the subconscious to heal if the nervous system still feels unsafe." That changes everything.
After divorce, so many of us live in survival mode. We try to think our way through anxiety. We keep ourselves busy. We rush toward the next goal, hoping we'll eventually feel like ourselves again.
But healing doesn't always happen from the mind down. Sometimes it begins from the body up.
A few of my favourite takeaways from this conversation:
🤍 Stop trying to rush through your pain. Healing often happens when we allow ourselves to fully experience it instead of outrunning it.
🤍 Keep the small promises you make to yourself. Every walk, every boundary, every healthy habit rebuilds trust with yourself.
🤍 Learn to regulate your nervous system. Simple practices like body scans, humming, deep breathing, or grounding exercises can help your body feel safe again.
🤍 A relationship is not two unicycles riding side by side — it is a bicycle. When one person carries the weight alone for too long, the whole thing falls apart. After divorce, the goal isn't to find someone else to balance you. It's learning to confidently ride your own unicycle again.
That image has stayed with me because that's what healing really looks like. Not becoming who you were before.
Becoming someone who trusts themselves again. If this resonates with where you are today, I think this episode will give you a completely different perspective on healing after divorce.
You don't have to figure it all out overnight. One conversation, one insight, one small commitment to yourself at a time is enough. 🤍
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