Carrie Luelling, Attorney at Law

06/03/2026

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐫𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐀𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐁𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐞⁣
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When I first meet with a prospective client, the conversation almost always turns immediately to the substantive issues. After sharing a few facts for 10 minutes, the questions typically become:⁣
• Do you think I will win?⁣
• What is the court process for my case?⁣
• What does Oklahoma law say about my situation?⁣
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These are understandable questions. Most people simply want reassurance that they will be okay and that their lawyer can handle the difficult situation they are facing.⁣
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However, the reality is that no competent lawyer can fully evaluate a case in a one-hour consultation. Accurately assessing the likely outcome of a case requires:⁣
• Knowing all the facts — including the unfavorable ones from the other side⁣
• Understanding the judge assigned to the case⁣
• Evaluating the strength of actual admissible evidence⁣
• Distinguishing between provable facts and understandable emotions or perceptions⁣
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Any attorney can provide general explanations about how Oklahoma law addresses divorce, custody, support, alimony, or paternity. Those are relatively straightforward legal discussions.⁣
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But the most important thing a client should determine in an initial consultation is this:⁣
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𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐰𝐲𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞?⁣
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𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬⁣
I am often surprised by the lack of preparation I see from opposing counsel in court. Unfortunately, when an attorney is not prepared, the client pays the price.⁣
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Lack of preparation can lead to:⁣
• Clients who are not prepared to testify⁣
• Clients who do not understand what is happening in court⁣
• Evidence that never gets admitted into the record⁣
• A presentation that reflects poorly on the client’s case⁣
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These situations almost always produce poor results.⁣
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𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐈 𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐀𝐬𝐤⁣
If you are meeting with a family law attorney, here are three questions that will tell you far more about the representation you will receive.⁣
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𝟏. 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐥?⁣
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Every attorney prepares differently.⁣
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When asking this question, clients should be listening for several things:⁣
• Does the attorney have a clear preparation process?⁣
• How detailed and organized is that process?⁣
• 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐚𝐰𝐲𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦?⁣
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Preparation often determines outcomes.⁣
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𝟐. 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭?⁣
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Clients should never walk into a courtroom without understanding:⁣
• Why they are there⁣
• What issues will be addressed⁣
• What strategy their attorney is using⁣
• What questions they may be asked⁣
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I have personally appeared at hearings ready with witnesses and exhibits, only to hear opposing counsel tell the judge: "Your Honor, we don't know why we are here."⁣
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If the attorney does not understand the hearing, their client certainly will not either. That is a recipe for failure.⁣
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Clients should know how their attorney will communicate about upcoming court dates, how much notice they will receive, and how they will be prepared to testify.⁣
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Showing up to court without preparation is one of the most damaging mistakes a litigant can make.⁣
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𝟑. 𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭?⁣
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Interestingly, no one has ever asked me this question.⁣
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𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝.⁣
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I know who the hardworking family law attorneys in my community are, and I am always willing to recommend that prospective clients speak with them. Choosing a lawyer is an important decision, and clients should feel confident in that choice.⁣
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In addition to finding a lawyer who will work hard for your case, it is important to find someone who is also the right personality fit.⁣
I am not the right fit for every client, and that is perfectly fine. My goal is for people to make well-informed decisions about their legal representation.⁣
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞⁣
The first consultation is not just about explaining your situation.⁣
It is your opportunity to determine whether the attorney you are speaking with will:⁣
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• Prepare thoroughly⁣
• Communicate clearly⁣
• Advocate effectively in court⁣
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Those factors will matter far more to your case than the quick answers to a few legal questions.⁣

10/02/2026

We get a lot of questions about collecting past due child support. It doesn't always make sense to pay an attorney if the amounts owed are not significant or the person paying child support "catches up" as soon as a contempt action is filed. Below is a guide we made for parents to collect child support without the expense of hiring an attorney.

How to Collect Past-Due Child Support in Tulsa, Oklahoma

1. Open or Update a Child Support Case with the State
If you do not already have an active open case with the Oklahoma Child Support Services (CSS), you should apply:
• Apply online at https://oklahoma.gov/okdhs/services/child-support-services.html
• or request an application by calling 1-800-522-2922 (Tulsa area: 918-295-3500).

You may need to submit your existing court order and any supporting documents.

Once your case is active, CSS can begin or continue enforcement actions to collect current and past-due support.

CSS can:
• Enforce current and past-due child support
• Track payments and calculate arrearages
• Initiate enforcement actions without you filing separate court motions

For Tulsa residents, CSS maintains a local office and centralized payment registry.

2. Enforcement Tools Available Under Oklahoma Law

Once a valid child support order exists, unpaid support automatically becomes a judgment by operation of law. This allows the state—and in some cases the custodial parent—to pursue multiple enforcement remedies.

Wage Garnishment (Income Withholding)
One of the most common and effective tools is income withholding. Child support can be deducted directly from the non-paying parent’s paycheck and applied to both current support and arrears.

Tax Refund Intercepts
If the paying parent owes past-due support above certain thresholds, Oklahoma can intercept:
• State tax refunds
• Federal tax refunds
Intercepted funds are applied directly to child support arrears.

License Suspension
Oklahoma law allows suspension of:
• Driver’s licenses
• Professional or occupational licenses
• Recreational licenses
These suspensions remain in effect until the parent takes steps to address the arrearage.

Liens on Property
Because unpaid child support becomes a judgment, liens may be placed on:
• Real property
• Certain personal property
• Insurance settlements or other lump-sum payments
This can be especially effective if the non-paying parent owns assets.

Contempt of Court
When nonpayment is willful, the court may find the parent in contempt of court. Consequences can include fines, court-ordered payment plans, and in extreme cases, incarceration. Courts generally use contempt as a last resort, but it remains a powerful enforcement tool.

23/01/2026

Domestic Violence and Protective Orders Under Oklahoma Law

Domestic violence remains a profound public safety and family law issue across Oklahoma. According to national data, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence in their lifetimes. Many more experience psychological abuse, threats, and coercive control. This can include financial control, which is incredibly common. These patterns of abuse not only harm adults but also deeply affect children who witness or live in environments marked by violence.

Children exposed to domestic abuse are at increased risk for emotional trauma, behavioral challenges, academic difficulties, and long-term mental health effects. Studies consistently show that exposure to family violence can disrupt a child’s sense of safety and stability, contributing to anxiety, depression, and other adverse outcomes that can persist into adulthood.

Under 22 O.S. § 60, victims of domestic abuse, stalking, harassment, or threats of imminent harm may seek a protective order from the court. The statute broadly defines domestic abuse to include physical harm, threats of harm, harassment, and other conduct that places a victim in reasonable fear for their safety. Importantly, Oklahoma law allows courts to issue emergency and final protective orders to prevent further abuse and to provide immediate legal protection.

Protective orders can include provisions such as:
• No contact with the victim
• Exclusive possession of a residence
• Temporary custody or visitation restrictions
• Firearm surrender requirements

Violating a protective order is a criminal offense and may result in arrest, jail time, and additional legal consequences.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, the law offers meaningful tools for protection. Consulting with an attorney can help ensure that statutory rights under Oklahoma law are fully and properly enforced.

17/11/2025

Witness Friendly Guide to Testifying

In Oklahoma family law, hearings are not the exception—they’re the norm. Yet, time and again, I see clients walk into court with no meaningful preparation from their attorneys. It shows immediately—in how they answer questions, how they react under pressure, and how effectively their story is communicated to the judge.

That is not how I practice.

Essential Testimony Skills Every Client Learns

Here are the practical skills I teach every witness before they take the stand:

1. Present a neat, professional appearance.
Proper attire and grooming help create a strong first impression and demonstrate respect for the court.

2. Turn your chair slightly and speak directly to the judge.
This projects your voice toward the person who needs to hear you most and helps maintain connection with the court.

3. Listen carefully to each question. Take your time.
You are not expected to answer instantly. Thoughtful, composed testimony is far more credible.

4. If you don’t understand a question, ask for it to be repeated or clarified.
There is no penalty for asking. Guessing can lead to inaccurate or unhelpful answers.

5. Answer only the question asked—nothing more.
This prevents unnecessary information from complicating your testimony or creating openings during cross-examination.

6. Do not argue with opposing counsel.
Your credibility increases when you remain calm and courteous, even under pressure.

7. Pause briefly before answering to allow time for objections.
This protects your testimony and ensures the record is clear.

8. Do not nod your head to indicate “yes” or “no.” Speak your answer out loud.
The court reporter cannot record gestures. Every answer must be verbal.

9. Speak clearly and loudly enough for the court reporter to hear you.
A silent record is worse than no answer at all.

10. If your answer was misstated or unclear, correct it immediately.
Accuracy is crucial. Judges appreciate witnesses who clarify when necessary.

This Level of Preparation Makes a Difference

Unprepared testimony often looks scattered, defensive, or unfocused. A well-prepared witness presents as credible, consistent, and composed—and judges can easily tell the difference.

Whether your hearing lasts 30 minutes or your trial lasts several days, preparation directly affects how your testimony is perceived and how effectively your case is presented.

I don’t walk into hearings unprepared, and I don’t let my clients do so either. When your children, your home, or your financial stability are on the line, you deserve nothing less.

05/11/2025

What Sets My Family Law Practice Apart: Preparation Matters

In Oklahoma, family law cases often involve one or more court hearings before the final trial ever takes place. One of the most significant is the Temporary Order (TO) hearing—a proceeding where the judge can make crucial decisions about custody, visitation, possession of the marital home, allocation of debt, and even temporary division of assets.

These “temporary” orders can govern the parties’ lives for a year or more, especially in cases that require expert evaluations for custody or business valuations. The court may also hold review hearings to ensure that custody and visitation arrangements continue to serve the children’s best interests.

In both types of hearings, one thing is consistent: the parties will testify.

And this is where I often see the biggest difference between my practice and many others.

I am regularly surprised by how little preparation opposing parties have received before they take the stand. When a witness hasn’t been properly prepared, it shows. They often don’t understand what information the judge needs to hear, how objections work, or what kinds of statements are not allowed (like hearsay).

At best, this means their most important information never makes it in front of the judge. At worst, it turns into a train wreck of incoherent or defensive testimony that undermines their entire case.

That’s why preparation is at the heart of how I practice family law.

Before any hearing, I take the time to prepare my clients—and their witnesses—for testimony. This includes:

• Developing exhibits that best present the client’s case and integrating them seamlessly into the testimony.

• Drafting all direct-examination questions in advance—not improvising in the courtroom.

• Preparing draft answers based on client statements and discovery materials, so clients can review and practice well before the hearing.

Because the rules of evidence require that direct examination questions be asked in an open-ended manner, witnesses often struggle to know exactly what information is being sought. My preparation process eliminates that issue completely.

Clients and witnesses are also prepared for cross-examination—learning how to answer closed-ended questions concisely, without volunteering unnecessary or harmful information. We discuss demeanor, tone, and body language, and practice staying calm and composed under pressure.

This preparation process can last an hour or two for a short hearing, or several days for a full trial.

The goal is simple: when my clients testify, they are confident, credible, and ready.

Far too many attorneys walk into court and “wing it.” I don’t.

Preparation isn’t just part of my process—it’s the foundation of it.

Because when everything that matters most is on the line—your children, your home, your financial future—preparation isn’t optional. It’s essential.

08/10/2025

Child Support and Unmarried Parents

When parents aren’t married, issues like custody, visitation, and child support are handled through what’s called a paternity action in Oklahoma.

Oklahoma law makes it clear — both parents are legally responsible for supporting their child, whether they were married or not. If a parent doesn’t meet that obligation, the court can step in and enforce support through things like wage withholding, tax refund interception, or even jail time in serious cases.

A father can also be ordered to pay back child support for up to two years before the paternity case is filed, and sometimes a portion of the birth-related costs if the child was born during that time.

So how is child support calculated? Oklahoma uses specific Child Support Guidelines that look at each parent’s income, how many nights the child spends with each parent, and things like childcare expenses.

If you want to see how the math works, you can use the state’s Child Support Computation Form on the Oklahoma Human Services website:
👉 Oklahoma Child Support Computation Form

Call now to connect with business.

22/09/2025

Can I Take My Children with Me if I Accept a Job Out of State?

If you share custody of your children in Oklahoma, you cannot simply pack up and move out of state—even for a great job opportunity—without first following the legal process. Oklahoma has specific relocation laws designed to protect both parents’ rights and, most importantly, the best interests of the child.

Notice Requirements
Under Oklahoma law (43 O.S. § 112.3), a parent who has custody or shares custodial rights must give written notice before moving a child’s principal residence:

The move must be more than 75 miles away and for more than 60 days.

Notice must usually be given at least 60 days in advance. If that’s not possible, notice must be provided within 10 days of learning of the move.

The notice must include:
• The intended new residence (address, if known)
• Mailing address and phone number (if available)
• Date of the planned move
• A brief statement of reasons for the move
• A proposed new visitation schedule

Objections by the Other Parent
The non-relocating parent has 30 days after receiving notice to file a written objection with the court. If no objection is filed, the move is generally allowed.

If the Court Gets Involved
When an objection is filed, the court will hold a hearing. The judge will weigh several factors, including:
1. The good faith of the parent requesting the move
2. The child’s best interests
3. The child’s relationship with each parent
4. Whether visitation can realistically be preserved despite the
distance
5. Whether the move enhances quality of life for the parent and
child (e.g., job opportunities, family support)
6. Any history of domestic violence or abuse
7. Any other factor affecting the child’s stability and well-being

Bottom Line
You may be able to move with your children for an out-of-state job, but you must follow the statutory notice requirements. If your co-parent objects, a judge will ultimately decide based on the child’s best interests.

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15/09/2025

My spouse says they are leaving me. What should I do?

1. Take care of yourself first.

Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling—anger, sadness, confusion, even numbness.

Lean on trusted friends, family, or a therapist for support. This isn’t something you need to carry alone.

Try to keep up with basics like eating, sleeping, and moving your body, even if it feels hard.

2. Get clarity.

When you’re ready, ask your spouse calmly and directly what they mean by “leaving”—is this temporary, do they want separation, divorce, or space?

Avoid making rushed decisions or escalating the conversation in the heat of emotion.

3. Protect yourself legally and financially.

If you share property, finances, or children, it’s important to start gathering documents (bank statements, property deeds, retirement accounts, tax returns).

Consider speaking with a family law attorney to understand your rights and options—especially if you think a separation or divorce may be coming.

If children are involved, you’ll want to think about custody, stability, and how to shield them from conflict.

4. Build a support system.

Talk to people you trust, whether that’s a close friend, a counselor, a pastor, or a support group.

This can help you process emotions and make clearer decisions.

5. Take it one step at a time.

You don’t have to have all the answers today. Focus on immediate stability first, then on long-term planning when you’re ready.

Call now to connect with business.

10/09/2025

Coping strategies for co-parenting with a narcissist:

If you find yourself navigating divorce or custody proceedings involving a narcissistic co-parent, it is crucial to prioritize your child's well-being. Here are some strategies that can help mitigate the negative impact of narcissistic parenting on your child:

Establish Boundaries: Maintain clear and consistent boundaries with the narcissistic parent, ensuring that your child's emotional and physical needs are protected. Encourage your child to establish their own boundaries as well, fostering their autonomy and self-confidence.

Validate Their Feelings: Provide a safe space for your child to express their emotions without judgment. Validating their experiences can help counteract the gaslighting and emotional neglect they may experience from the narcissistic parent.

Promote Self-Esteem: Encourage your child's unique strengths and talents, emphasizing their worth beyond the approval of the narcissistic parent. Engage them in activities that boost their self-esteem, such as sports, arts, or hobbies.

Seek Professional Help: Consider involving a mental health professional experienced in working with children of narcissistic parents. Therapy can provide valuable support and guidance for both you and your child, helping them process their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Call now to connect with business.

02/09/2025

Are you coparenting with a narcissist? It could negatively affect your child.

Divorce or custody battles can be emotionally challenging, especially when one parent exhibits narcissistic traits. In this post, we will explore the psychological dynamics at play when dealing with a narcissistic parent, and shed light on the potential long-term consequences for children involved in such situations.

Understanding these effects can empower you during divorce or custody proceedings, ensuring the best interests of your child are prioritized.

Narcissistic parenting is characterized by a parent's excessive preoccupation with themselves, a lack of empathy, and an intense need for admiration. Narcissistic parents often prioritize their own needs and desires over those of their children, leading to detrimental consequences.

Here are some key ways narcissistic parenting can impact children:

Emotional Neglect: Narcissistic parents may struggle to provide emotional support or attunement to their children. They may dismiss or invalidate their child's feelings and experiences, leaving them feeling unheard, unimportant, and emotionally neglected. This can result in low self-esteem, difficulties in emotional regulation, and a sense of unworthiness.

Manipulation and Gaslighting: Narcissistic parents may manipulate and gaslight their children, distorting their perception of reality. Gaslighting involves undermining the child's confidence in their own thoughts and feelings, leaving them confused and doubting their own experiences. This can lead to long-term psychological distress, including anxiety, depression, and a distorted sense of self.

Inconsistent Love and Approval: Narcissistic parents often offer love and approval conditionally, based on their own needs and desires. Children may find themselves in a constant state of seeking validation, feeling that their self-worth is contingent upon meeting their parent's expectations. This can result in chronic feelings of inadequacy and an inability to form healthy relationships later in life.

Role Reversal and Parentification: In some cases, narcissistic parents may reverse the parent-child dynamic, expecting their child to cater to their emotional needs. This places an enormous burden on the child, forcing them to assume adult responsibilities at an early age. Such role reversals can hinder the child's emotional development, impede their ability to form healthy boundaries, and hinder their own personal growth.

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10/12/2020

Oklahoma, like so many other states, requires parents to maintain Parenting Plans and Custody Agreements, despite the COVID-19 crisis. If your child is required to travel to another city or state, your child must travel. Even a requirement to shelter-in-place does not permit abandonment of a custody agreement.
I know as a parent your concerns are many: Has your ex-spouse or partner tested positive for COVID-19, have others in his/her household been tested, are local requirements for social distancing and wearing masks being followed, does anyone in the home work in the medical field, and are there requirements to sheltering-in-place. All great questions, all real concerns yet, by law you are required to do whatever is necessary to deliver your child to the home of your ex-spouse or partner.
“The Oklahoma Supreme Court Second Emergency Order Regarding the COVID-19 State of Disaster applies to visitation and parenting time schedules for minor children, whether in divorce, separation, paternity, or guardianship actions. Specifically, custody and visitation time based on school scheduling shall not be affected by school closures during the COVID-19 pandemic. The original school schedule shall control in determining visitation, parenting time or physical custody.”
Today schools across the state are educating children in a variety of ways. Within the state of Oklahoma each city, country, and town are doing something different. If you child is being homeschooled or participating in distance learning in your home, requirements may be different where your ex-spouse or ex-partner lives. Concerns about internet access, assistance in schooling and/or childcare do not excuse compliance with custody agreements. You could be held in contempt if you fail to share physical custody of your child.
Community and lifestyle amidst COVID-19 can differ from town to town. Masks are required where you live, but not where your ex lives; your restaurants, parks, game rooms, and playrooms are closed, theirs are open, your sheltering-in-place, his/her community is not. These differences in handling the virus leaves parents and children feeling stressed, anxious, and fearful. Many parents, teens, adolescents and even toddlers experience symptoms of depression when living in two totally different environments. Yes, environments were different before COVID-19, yet not dangerously so. No matter how hard you try and protect your child from media, news, TV pundits, and COVID-19 reporting, they know something bad is out there. They hear it your voice and see the concern on your face. You smile and say don’t worry, but worry can be hard to hide.
“Nothing in the Oklahoma Supreme Court Second Emergency Order prevents parties from “mutually” agreeing to a different Parenting Plan. Visitation orders may be modified however, any changes must be in the form of a written agreement approved by the assigned judge and filed.”
Modifying a current agreement for holidays and winter break should have already begun. If you believe, due to the coronavirus your current agreement needs to be modified, be proactive. Many couples choose to sit down with a court approved counselor or therapist to work out an agreement. However, if you and your ex cannot agree call your attorney. The sooner you and your ex agree to changes, the sooner you can inform your child. Children, especially young ones require consistency to feel secure. They need to know as far in advance as possible where they will be spending holidays and winter break.
They also need to know they will be safe from the coronavirus. The psychiatric community suggests parents jointly communicate to their child steps being taken to complete any schooling requirements, to ensure COVID-19 compliance based on where the parent lives, and that safety in both homes and amongst in-home populations is of the highest priority, and most importantly, they are loved.
For some COVID-19 has become a weapon. In Oklahoma, dozens of emergency custody motions have been filed since the pandemic began. An Oklahoma clinic worker lost custody of her children during this pandemic. The holidays are fast approaching and every situation is different. Parents working together, crafting a new agreement avoid the stress of legal proceedings. Yet, for those who require legal proceedings, attorneys are working and Oklahoma courts are open.
What matters most as Parenting Plans and Custody Agreements are changed due to COVID-19 is communications. Technology makes it easy for your child to keep in touch with their non-custodial parent. Telephone calls, Facetime, emails, posts to teens on social media sites, sharing pictures and Zoom are just a few ways of staying in touch. Many courts (judges) will approve online visitation if COVID-19 prevents in-person visits.
The coronavirus, social-distancing, sheltering-in-place, wearing masks, and distance learning have changed your life, the lives of your children and the life of your es-spouse or partner. I’ve written in earlier blogs about the many adjustments parents are required to make, and the many challenges of co-parenting – yet I never imagined a pandemic taking priority over a unknown person or children living in the home, or “you got him a dog and I don’t want a dog in the house.”
This virus by necessity or choice can lead to changes in Custody Agreements. Be cooperative, show empathy and concern. Open the lines of communication and know what your child is walking into. If he/she is more comfortable wearing a mask and masks aren’t required where your ex lives allow the child to wear a mask. If internet is a problem where your ex lives, talk to your child’s teacher, you’ll be surprised how cooperative they can be.
Lastly, be honest. Even if your child doesn’t relay or show fear, ask open ended questions – before they pack their bags and leave home. Your ex loves and cherishes your child just as much as you do and wants them to be safe, happy, and well cared for, throughout the winter break and the holiday season.