05/16/2025
Things you learn living in Parkland:
1. Avoid the Starbucks on Holmberg Road and Coral Ridge Drive when Westglades Middle lets out – unless you want to wait an hour for your Iced Brown Sugar Oatmilk Shaken Espresso and get called "mid" by a 6th grader for rocking your Red-Hot Summer Alo socks.
2. 93% of Parkland public elementary students are in the gifted program, crushing the statewide average of 5.5%.
3. Apparently, no one has ever driven through a roundabout without slowing down and muttering, “Who thought this was a good idea?”
4. Parkland has a king – and he’s in the title business.
5. Freddy the Ref – the most powerful person in Parkland sports. Period.
6. The police won’t ticket you for rolling through stop signs on Trails End and University Drive, but they will get you for dropping your kids off at school in a golf cart.
7. If you don’t cold plunge or sauna, someone with zero medical background will absolutely let you know you’re doing life wrong.
Life here is beautiful, but let’s be real – it’s not always sunshine and Cecile’s Italian Ices. When things go sideways, it helps to know a Parkland local who actually picks up the phone. Let the monster mill personal injury attorneys stay in Miami.
Stay safe out there, fam.
- ❤️, Your life-long Parkland personal injury attorney
