JustUs in Family Court

05/26/2026

Excellent resource. A new book that proves the Courts violate children's rights. That is the direction we need to go. The court does not care so much about adults.

05/21/2026

True. The most important thing to a family predator is their false image of perfection. Thus, in public, they treat you very well. But in private... you are just another prop to be used and then put on a shelf until needed again).

They break you in private—word by word, moment by moment—until your confidence is shaken and your sense of self feels unrecognizable. Behind closed doors, the criticism, the blame, and the emotional distance slowly wear you down. But in public, they transform. Suddenly, they’re attentive, affectionate, and convincing—putting on a performance of love so polished that no one questions it. To the outside world, they seem devoted, even admirable. And that’s what makes it so isolating—because when you try to speak about your pain, it clashes with the image they’ve carefully created, leaving you unheard, doubted, and alone in a reality no one else sees.

05/21/2026

Excellent

Graphic credit: Beth Tyson Trauma Consulting

05/21/2026

I have not physically seen my family in 7 yrs & have been NC for 5 yrs, though I mostly find it liberating, sometimes remembering so much time lost hurts. I was very close with my nieces & nephews, they were like my own children, I wish them healing, I hope they end the cycle for their own children.

I hope that warrior heart energy reverberates in their lives too

The existential grief is there at times, even though your life & healing has moved forward.

Nobody taught us how to live without our families, we had to learn that all on our own, its unfortunate in many ways, but its also the only way some of us can heal and be safe.

05/21/2026

This is why they say they keep choosing the wrong people, when in reality, they keep choosing the right pattern.
Because a relationship where they are simply loved asks a harder thing of them than a relationship where they are needed.
It asks them to stop performing a role they built their identity around.
And until they learn that being wanted is not something you maintain through effort, but something you recognize through consistency, they will keep mistaking emotional demand for emotional depth and calling it connection. –

05/21/2026

This is an excellent explanation of how a Narcissistic parent poisons one child against another child. It's difficult to believe a parent would do this to their own child unless you happen to be that child. Do not be fooled.

Our siblings are often turned against us & rewarded for doing what the parent expects, once they are adults they are responsible for their behaviors but as children, its rarely them acting on their own will to harm us, the triangulation is difficult sometimes to recognize, because the parent often plays like a victim or oblivious or minimizes real harm down to sibling rivalry.

05/10/2026

Reactive Defensiveness
Reactive Defensiveness is a defense driven into the victim by the narcissist predator.
Because we must be silent in the face of extreme abuse and deprivation we can over r@eact to others in an aggressive way. It's not our@ fault, but we are responsible for changing our reactions to match the situations.

Reactive Defensiveness is Not when the victim finally
reacts to ongoing abuse and then the perpetrator says se i told you they are out of control. That's called baiting.

05/05/2026

We collectively know:
1. Family Court can't protect child victims
2. Family Court sides with abusive parent.
Children sent to live with their abusive parent with no interference or monitoring by the protective parent is a death sentence to those children.

They may be walking around 15 years later but they are shells of who they could have been.

Family court is beyond repair. (I can tell you why if interested).I'm suggesting a different way to navigate the system when you are trying to protect your children from the abusive parent.

I will not post his online as discretion is a must.

Reach out for questions.

As always, consults free of charge.

11/29/2025

The Female Narcissist is DANGEROUS

Female covert narcissism is subtle, strategic, and emotional erosion disguised as empathy.She won’t explode — she’ll dismantle you quietly.The smallest “soft...

11/01/2025

Codependent People Are Controlled People
(Copy of message from Lisa Romano, probably the best in the US to identify abuse and then heal from the abuse).

If you struggle with codependency, you struggle with having a healthy autonomous identity.

When asked the question, "Who are you?" you answer according to your roles in society, or you describe yourself according to ideas that have shaped your perception of self. You speak in terms of what has happened to you or in terms of what role you think you play in the world or in your family.

You say things like;

I am a woman.
I am a man.
I am a father.
I am a mother.
I am a soccer coach.
I am a doctor.
I am a writer.
I am someone with a disability.
I am depressed.
I am anxious.
I am a bus driver.
I am an electrician.
I am a hairdresser.
I am the daughter of a narcissist.
I am the adult child of an alcoholic.
I am a sexual abuse survivor.

While these statements might
be true for you, they do not describe who you are separate from what has happened to you or what role your culture or the very imperfect society has created for you.

One's faith, heritage, or degree of melanin in their skin does not define WHO a person is at their core, outside of any label or identifying marker that serves to distinguish one group or person from another.

Many of us are still controlled by others and by what they did to us when we were powerless to fight back, tell the truth, or protect ourselves. In this case, the past is controlling our mood, our beliefs, our level of freedom, and our sense of peace.

If you are codependent, you are controlled by the moods of others. Your balance is nonexistent because when you were supposed to be developing a healthy sense of self, you were a child and too busy trying to manage the absolute horror of feeling abandoned as a child. Your brain was wired for distraction, fear, and survival and so today, although you are no longer a child, that golden pillow that belongs to every soul has yet to be found within you.

Detach Dear One...zoom out...stand tall...and question everything.

You do NOT have to believe what you have been conditioned to believe.
You absolutely have a right to know who you are in spite of who and what others may have brainwashed you to believe.
The real you is gold, divine, and absolutely enough!

Take it easy today, go have fun, laugh, smile, and breath deeply.

In spite of the past, your sexual orientation, the color of your skin, or the skin of others and in spite of how much money you make, or how much money someone else makes, in spite of how intelligent you may be or may not be, in spite of being married or single, or divorced ten times, try this "I AM" on for size....

I AM ENOUGH....and I AM willing to NO LONGER allow roles, the past, or other people's moods, beliefs, ideas, or ideal control me and rip me off my golden pillow.

I AM ENOUGH as I AM!

Codependents are Controlled

Codependents are controlled by the moods, behaviors, addictions, and attitudes of others.

*Codependents Assume Guilt

Codependents take on guilt for things that are not their fault. Growing up feeling abandoned has caused shame to become a part of our identity.


*Codependents are Over Responsible

Codependents struggle to detach and allow others to take on the responsibilities of their actions. Codependents attach their identity to fixing other people's problems. We feel guilty for taking care of the self and watching other people destroy their lives.Today, take an inventory and ask yourself, "What and who tends to control my mood? Whose mood do I tend to? Whose reality do I focus on?" and don't forget to ask yourself the most important question of all, "Who am I at my core?"

Until we question the seeds that have been planted into our subconscious mind by the gardeners who were more powerful than ourselves, we are who we have been taught to think we are.

It's not you -- it's your programming.

You are enough!

Lisa A. Romano

Sent by Lisa A Romano

10/31/2025

People who scapegoat others are deeply dysfunctional and you must avoid at all costs.

Scapegoating is a coping strategy used by members of dysfunctional families to avoid taking accountability for their own issues.