06/03/2026
There are two phrases that I hear often enough from opposing attorneys, as well as occasionally by others, that always give me pause:
1. "I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here ... "
2. "With all due respect ... "
As a lifelong Southerner, I realize that there are certain expressions (i.e. "Bless your heart") that come with the territory and that can have a surplus of meaning, but with respect to the two expressions noted above, their use in conversation is almost never positive.
When someone leads with stating that they are giving you the benefit of the doubt, you would be well advised to consider that they are most often doing the exact opposite. More likely than not, the use of this expression by an opponent or even by a client should be taken as an indicator that they have already formed an opinion, and even more likely that it is not a good one.
When someone uses "with all due respect" as their starting point, it is best to assume that the respect that they deem due is minimal at best. I have rarely encountered anyone who leads off with this phrase and who then proceeds to state something entirely positive or otherwise offer their complete and unwavering support. More likely than not, this is at best filler language and a set up for what is coming next.
My humble recommendation here is that we either retire these phrases completely, or otherwise that we give serious thought as to what we intend to communicate before we use them carelessly in conversation. Moreover, any temptate to use phrases like these should serve as reminders to offer grace to others and to attempt to view their actions in the most favorable light unless/until they give us reason to do otherwise.
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