10/03/2026
How nice is it to see everything turning green again? It feels like a great time to leave winter behind and take in the changes that Spring brings us. I don't know about y'all, but I was pretty happy to be wearing shorts in early March last week!
Today I wanted to touch on a pretty important topic in a divorce/custody case....mediation. You see, many jurisdictions (Warren, Edmonson, Barren and Metcalfe included), mediations are often ordered before cases are given a final trial date. Inherently, this does involve extra cost to the litigants (the mediator doesn't work for free!), however offers advantages far beyond the up front costs of the mediator.
And don't be concerned about showing up in an empty, glassed in board room with a massive table, 2 attorneys shouting at each other, while you stare blankly at your soon to be ex spouse, that's just for TV and movies.
The first thing you may notice in your mediation is that you will do most of the talking (not your attorney). The mediator will want to get to know you, to learn about your case, and you as a person, to help craft the most personable outcomes possible. Your attorney will always be there to answer questions (at any time), and also be there to offer context of your case to the mediator, as well, as simply being there for YOU.
I believe this is important, because from the beginning, you are empowered to achieve your own result, without the court forcing its decision on everybody. It empowers the parties to resolve conflict on their own terms, and not someone else's.
The next thing you may notice in mediation is a lot of "down time" with your attorney. The mediator can only talk to one side at once, and when you're talking with the mediator that time flies, however when the mediator is with the other party, time seems to crawl.
This offers a great opportunity for the lawyer and client to not only continue preparing the case, but discussing all of the new information shared in mediation. This time and these conversations help me to continue to not only work toward resolution, but to continue preparing your case for trial, should mediation not resolve all issues.
I have been in so many mediations in which my client was pessimistic about the likelihood of resolution, and walked out completely surprised at the outcome. It feels great to see the looks of satisfaction and relief that my clients feel when they walk out of the mediation.
And let's be frank, sometimes mediation resolutions are still difficult, even when they are "good" mediation agreements. At some point, we may be forced to give up some things we wanted, just as the other party will, in order to allow you to have the ability to control your ultimate outcome. You might even realize how you saved money, all while controlling your own result simultaneously, and learn why the Courts would prefer us to at least attempt mediation anyway!
Sometimes, at the end of mediation, your case may not be fully resolved. However, resolution of divorce and custody cases via mediation is not an "all or nothing" prospect. Mediations oftentimes end up with partial resolutions, which still offer the participants with the ability to control as many outcomes as possible, because once the case it is given to the Court, the resolution is out of your hands. In these cases, parties with partial agreements might halve the amount of contested issues they are bringing to the Court to resolve. This may reduce the amount of time needed for further hearings, which could reduce the wait time for the hearing you need.
I urge everybody, whether the Court orders it or not, to at least attempt mediation wherever possible, and to keep an open mind as well. You'll be the star of show, and you'll be empowered to help maintain some control over the result of your divorce/custody case.
I wish you all the best.
Send a message to learn more