30/04/2026
The quiet impact of delay in private children law
This week's BBC News piece on the “trauma” experienced by separated parents in the South stayed with me. Not because it was shocking. But because it wasn’t. If you work in family law, as I do Setfords, you will see versions of this every day…cases where a parent loses meaningful time with their child, not necessarily because of parental alienation or a final decision, but because of delays.
While the system quite rightly prioritises safety, we don’t always talk honestly enough about the cost of time. I have acted in many cases where a parent’s time with their child has reduced significantly, or stopped altogether, on an interim basis while the court process unfolds. Often the product of necessary caution and the need for further evidence before decisions can be made.
A few months to an adult is one thing…To a child, it can be the difference between a secure relationship and one that fades. In a child’s life, months are not incidental; they are formative.
The language used in the news piece, “trauma”, is not rhetorical. It reflects the lived experience of parents and children who are cut off from a primary attachment figure, sometimes for extended periods. The science on this is long established: separation can be deeply destabilising. Delay in the family justice system is not just procedural or administrative; it can have very real emotional consequences for families trying to navigate already difficult situations.
There is also a growing tension between risk management and relational welfare. In striving, rightly, to protect children from harm, the system can sometimes default to caution in a way that sidelines the importance of maintaining meaningful relationships with both parents. By the time a matter reaches final determination, the practical reality may already have shifted considerably.
We need to move beyond simplistic “safe vs unsafe” thinking and engage with the more complex reality: how do we preserve relationships safely, rather than suspend them entirely?
That requires:
• earlier, more decisive intervention where possible
• proper resourcing of therapeutic and supervised contact services
• and recognising that delay in the family justice system has consequences beyond the courtroom.
This is not about criticising judges, Cafcass or the courts. They are under enormous pressure and making difficult decisions with imperfect information every day.
But for the families living through these cases, this is not simply litigation. It is their children, their relationships and their lives on hold while the process continues.
I suspect many family lawyers, and many parents, will recognise this. If you are dealing with issues surrounding child arrangements or separation, and would like advice, please feel free to get in touch.
Families affected by parental alienation share their experiences with the BBC.
