Claire the Humanist

11/10/2026

Post wedding info dump. Let's see if any of it makes any sense WHATSOEVER.

SPOILERS: nope

09/10/2026

Look! It's Bigfoot, caterwauling through the glen, screeching about stuff and not looking where she's going. Standard.

28/09/2026

Did you know it was Linda Hamilton's birthday on Saturday? That's right, the fierce Terminator lady with cracking biceps, it was her birthday.

And? So??

On Saturday aka Linda Hamilton's birthday, Konrad married SARAH CONNOR. I know! It's like the movies and Danny DeVito agrees.

What did I not do? The obvious jokes. I'll leave that for the less able.

What did we do? Inadvertently upset a best man by suggesting he was easily replaceable by a dog, made a different groomsman happysob (no regrets, it's good for the soul) and generally had a very fun time hitting all the highs and low notes of S & K's musical meanderings.

They're very tuneful people. See if you can name the banner quotes. The Precious Child did pretty well, indie darling that she is. I did not.

Oh and if there's a Rubiks Cube anywhere near your ceremony, I will complete it and casually but loudly let you know that I have completed it. I will also cringe all the way home that I showed-off so weirdly.

Treat to see my pals Harelaw Farm Weddings especially SimonsStudio / Simon Lees Creative Occasions - Wedding & Celebration Planner and Dear Journey Films Absolute squad!

21/09/2026

There are a lot of n's in Jenn's name. Two in her first name, two in her old surname, three in her new surname. Maybe she used them all up and that's why one was missing from the handfast ribbon?

Jenn was not to blame. It was definitely Raymond's fault. He could've sacrificed his own 'n' but Raymod isn't a name so here we are.

12/09/2026

PSA for the parents, best people, anyone with a wedding speech bubbling up inside them, ready to splurge forth. Don't write it about the couple. Write it about you and the couple, your memories and stories of one or both of them. You will always win because I don't have access to that lore.

If you choose not to heed this advice, accept that I will ruin your speech and I'm not that bothered about it. I'm away home loooooong before the speeches and anyway, I SAID!

07/09/2026

I'm sorry, Mari and Craig.

I'm sorry that photo of you in the car and Claire Diggins 🤣 trying not to get run over by the car is a bit of a lighting horror show.

I'm sorry I knocked over your wh**ky with my b**b.

I'm sorry that the ghosts of Coats Memorial Church were audibly horrified at most of the tales we told (although the groans may actually just have been at that one awful awful pun I made about missing a bus and catching a Lawrie. Sorry about that).

Also sorry I don't understand the rules of rock paper scissors. I know! It's simple, isn't it? Not to me. Probably a terrible idea to pick your new surname via the medium of a game I don't get so you can take the flack for that one.

Other than that, I think it went fine. Everyone seemed quite jolly. It was very special to be hauled out again for one of my favourite families. Hope the Venom Slushies landed as well as anticipated ❤️

04/08/2026

🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊

Flora got FIVE A's in her Highers and I'm exploiting her success for the 'gram ❤️

MATHS - A
ENGLISH - A
CHEMISTRY - A
PHYSICS - A
MODERN STUDIES - A

She's the best. Winner winner expensive noodles dinner!

🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊

30/07/2026

My ode to Napoli

🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Napoli

You're so hot, my gingersnapoli
Your bins are overly flytrapoli
And you are in quite rough shapoli
But...
Your pizzas are cheapoli
we avoided mishapoli
And now i've finally unstuck my flapoli
we would revist most happoli

🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

(still on hols. Just not in the hottest city on the planet)

22/07/2026

You're CEO material, right? Come join us!

Join our team! 📣 We're delighted to invite applications for the role of Chief Executive of Humanist Society Scotland.

This is a unique opportunity to lead an organisation that truly punches above its weight. We are a member-powered organisation campaigning to make Scotland a more secular, rational, and socially just country - from assisted dying to LGBT+ rights and much more. We are Scotland’s original and biggest provider of humanist ceremonies, having conducted the first legal humanist marriage in Scotland in 2005 and the first ever legal same-sex marriage in 2014. Our dedicated celebrant community conduct thousands of humanist weddings, civil partnerships, funerals and naming ceremonies every year.

As Chief Executive, you’ll help us support our celebrants, volunteers and members, to strengthen our campaigning voice, and shape the next chapter for humanism in Scotland. If you’re an inspiring leader who shares our values and our ambition, we’d love to hear from you!

Interested? Find out more and apply online (link in comments 👇️)

Closing date for applications is Sunday 16th August 2026 📅

01/07/2026

Yesterday, I was asked who my favourite couples are to marry. Short answer? People who don't tell me what to do. I'm trying to do better* but I'm a fragrantly belligerent work in progress.

Slightly more user-friendly version is clever girls and charming boys (in whatever soft-hearted combination they like) who trust me to do my job. 

Hello Lucy and Ruaridh ❤️

To be fair, L&R didn't have much of a choice cos when I first spoke to them they were living in Sri Lanka. Nice huh? Mainly sea turtles and beach parties, occasional rascally rats rattling round your room.

They let me get on with things which explains why, in amongst their very cute surfcentric love story we touched upon: 

🌴 Cornwall's notoriously imbalanced private rental sector
🌴 Point Break, specifically Keanu Reeves in the rain, is a work of genius. Several women and one very loud man agreed 
🌴 Lucy's hot hands are massive. I really hammered that home. Just like she could with those gigantic sweaty digits 

As well as the loveliest vows, L&R drank wh**ky from R's Dad's quaich. Not sure if you can see from the photo but the inscription reads 'Allan, thanks for everything, Dave'.

Do we know what 'everything' meant? Nope. Did we speculate? Yup.

Comrie Croft was fabulous, chatting with my buddy Simon was a treat and special mention to L&R's pal, Fraser, who played THE most epic song for them to walk back up the aisle to 🪿⚰️

 


*I'm not and you can't make me