28/05/2020
Marriages are made in heaven, that’s what some people believe. Married couples go along with this saying and suddenly a small issue can become so big that it makes a couple lose control and carry on arguing even if they have kids or have been married for many years. And this breaking point is truly very painful not just for the couple but for everyone else in the surroundings too.
In married life if any conflicts arise, it is always good to sort it out through understanding and forgiveness.
That being said, you must also know that living with an abuser makes you dead and stops all your progress and thinking power which makes you ill in more ways than one.
If you are trapped with an abuser in this lockdown period and you feel that you are not safe, then don’t wait.
· Just call the police.
· Talk to your neighbours if any neighbours are there.
· Don’t leave the house without informing the local police.
· Also inform a few of your friends or Relatives.
· Take your ID and job card with you.
· Go to a safe place.
Being an International Accredited mediator and an International Motivational Speaker
I receive calls from random people, and they need moral support and a space to be able to share their sufferings.
I feel that listening to someone is the most important part of help and support.
Once the sufferer vents it all out, then they are ready to talk about the solution.
I have a few sad calls, where one mother was trapped with her abusive professionally qualified husband who was literally using her like his punching bag, and she was not able to understand how to get rid of him in this COVID 19 crisis. I asked her to share everything with me till she was calm and made her contact the women cell but, in the meantime, I was talking to her like a friend which made her feel the comfort of having someone with her through her tough time. She was morally strong after contacting me, and the police came to her house and gave her husband a warning. She is now living in a peaceful environment and is in touch with few of her relatives and friends.
Once I had a call from a widow mother who was so scared and screaming about her son who is a drug user and he was selling his mother’s house stuff to get money for his addiction and every now and then he was threatening her to kill her and take her to the police. I asked the mother to call the police without any delay and she did and now the man is in jail for threatening and being abusive.
Another case of a few teens and young adults who graduated from their university last September and they were in the preparations of new job and business but due to COVID19 both got stuck and they did not have anything else to do other than quarrelling. Here I intervened and spoke to them and told them to keep themselves busy in some other task like making some music or some food if interested. And believe me that worked as now they both are busy in being creative through music and other things.
Few final words of advice:
· Understand that everyone is under stress.
· And going through a varied range of emotional turmoil.
· Try to be more Empathetic and Understanding
· Try to keep yourself busy in pampering yourself rather than being over clingy;
· Give space to each other. Little space can bring you even closer.
· Write or read whenever you get time to express your Emotion.
· Stay away from hot discussion
Sometime the obvious thing might be to respond with a comeback but those are the time you should take the unobvious path and walk away or stay silent.
DR Renu Raj
RADANKS LIMITED UK
radanks.com
0044 7574174459
0044 2078869455
