02/03/2019
One of the funniest judgments that I have ever read. It was rendered by Justice Quiinn of the Ontario Superior Court . He awards monthly spousal support of one dollar and makes some very strange comments for a judge of a court at that level:
Some of the funniest parts are:
1. Justice Quinn commences his Reasons for Judgment with the first paragraph simply stating: “Paging Dr. Freud. Paging Dr. Freud.”
2. "Here, a husband and wife have been marinating in a mutual hatred so intense as to surely amount to a personality disorder requiring treatment.”
3. "The source of the difficulties is hatred: a hardened, harmful, high-octane hatred. Larry and Catherine hate each other, as do Larry and Sam. This hatred has raged unabated since the date of separation. Consequently, the likelihood of an amicable resolution is laughable (hatred devours reason); and, a satisfactory legal solution is impossible (hatred has no legal remedy)."
4. "Catherine and Larry were married on October 7, 1995. If only the wedding guests, who tinkled their wine glasses as encouragement for the traditional bussing of the bride and groom, could see the couple now." And then later in an endnote “I am prepared to certify a class action for the return of all wedding gifts."
5. "Some family trees have more barren branches than others."
6. "As can be seen, Catherine and her relatives are one-dimensional problem solvers."
7. "I find that Sandra does not exert a positive gravitational pull in this dysfunctional family constellation."
8. "The legal system does not have the resources to monitor a schedule of counselling (nor should it do so). The function of Family Court is not to change people, but to dispose of their disputes at a given point in time. I preside over a court, not a church."
9. "I come now to the issue of spousal support, historically the roulette of family law (blindfolds, darts and Ouija boards being optional)."
10. "While Larry’s access-conduct has largely reflected nothing more than inept parenting, Catherine’s parental-alienation behaviour has been evil. Is there a remedy? Dollars cannot replace the father-daughter relationship that Catherine has destroyed. However, in the circumstances of this case, justice has only a Hobson’s choice. Catherine’s alienation of Taylor and Larry must be condemned and, an effective method of expressing that condemnation, is by way of a reduction in spousal support.”
11. "It is likely that, in the period 2004-2006, Larry was having one or more extramarital affairs. Interestingly, Larry’s father was married five times, in addition to going through several relationships. Perhaps there is an infidelity gene. "
12. "When the operator of a motor vehicle yells "jackass” at a pedestrian, the jackassedness of the former has been proved, but, at that point, it is only an allegation as against the latter.”
13. "The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines "dickhead” as "a stupid person.” That would not have been my first guess.”
14. "I do not know why courts find it necessary to alter the meaning of words. One would think that if the legislators had intended "shocking” they would have used "shocking."
15. "On another occasion in July of 2009, Larry said to Taylor: "You put s**t in this hand and s**t in this hand, smack it together, what do you get? Taylor." And the endnote "I gather that this is Larry’s version of the Big Bang Theory."
You can read the full text at:
http://www.canlii.org/eliisa/highlight.do?text=dickhead&language=en&searchTitle=Ontario&path=/en/on/onsc/doc/2010/2010onsc6568/2010onsc6568.html
If you want an even better laugh, read the whole judgment. It’s worth the read.
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